As Good As Dead

where the fuck do i even start. i don't think it's a secret that i'm not the biggest fan of the first two books in this series (tho the 2nd one is better than the 1st). But this one blew my mind and shattered my fucking heart. this series progressively gets darker and darker which means PAIN yayyyy.
But let me start from the beginning. I was really not enjoying myself at the start of this book. I even thought it might be my least favorite of the trilogy but then at the halfway point EVERYTHING CHANGED.
Pip is kidnapped and we learn who the DT killer is and I think is this book ending already???. BUT THEN. bUt ThEn. Pip and Ravi become murder buddies??? Wtf??? And the whole trajectory of the book changed and it became a revenge thriller???!!! And I was fucking digging it?? It was so goddamn badass. If he will LITERALLY help you take care of the body, THAT'S how you know he's a real one.
I was so impressed with the amount of callbacks from the 2nd and even the 1st book??? Especially considering AGGGTM was originally supposed to be a standalone like...woooooow....holly jackson YOUR MIND. 
But then THE thing happened and everything went wrong and my heart was ACTUALLY breaking omfg. And then the SECOND thing happened and I was like miss jackson HOW FUCKING DARE YOUUUUUU???? DO YOU HAVE NO REGARD FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH?? (note: she doesn't and we love her for it!) 
I think I've only ever been this sad over a book ONCE before (and that was evelyn hugo, for you nosy fucks). i was so anxious for pip and these characters the entire time... 
AND THE FUCKING ENDING. I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CRY. (that's a lie. i cried. because that last chapter was so