Bluets

It's giving By Grand Central Station. Heavy on the Wittgenstein and Plato, but light on the narrative or thematic cohesion. Nelson makes the decision to restrict details of her lover to the type of sex they were having (for fear of displacing her memories with her writing, as with childhood photographs), but what results for me is a paradoxical combination of deep, powerful longing and nonchalance that I struggled to connect with.

At a job interview at a university, three men sitting across from me at a table. On my cv it says that I am currently working on a book about the color blue. I have been saying this for years without writing a word. It is, perhaps, my way of making my life feel “in progress” rather than a sleeve of ash falling off a lit cigarette. One of the men asks, Why blue? People ask me this question often. I never know how to respond. We don't get to choose what or whom we love, I want to say. We just don't get to choose.