Charlie and The Chocolate Factory

Queer but quirky.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was perfect for me when I was little. But when I read it again a few years later, from an eerie blend of wistfulness and caffeine...I became aware of a few things that the child me hadn't really deigned to perceive.

1. Food fetish Alert. (It's becoming a cliche for this genre. Like eyes in chick lit.)

2. What's with the sexism? Has anyone else noticed how Dahl always make the fathers have a certain dry, witty sense of humor that is clearly lacking from the hysterical, daft and deranged mothers?

3. The Oompa Loompa songs are just massive nursery rhymes.

4. Is it just me or is Willy Wonka one sexy sob?

5. If I was one of the lucky five, I'd definitely be one of the bad kids. I'm slightly spoiled, but that doesn't mean I want to be thrown down the rubbish chute!

6. I chew a lot of gum. But a lifetime of unlimited chocolate supply does not make up for an eternity spent as a primary color.

7. Also, I watch more TV than Mike. That doesn't mean I'm not reading books.

8. I'm greedy too. But so would every other kid in the world be when faced with a giant chocolate river!

9. I think Wonka's magical chocolate factory would be more like a carnival of horror for me! I'll fall into a hot chocolate river, turn into a giant blubbery, and shrink to thrice my size. No, thank you.

10) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory could have been an unforgettable Goosebumps!