Don't Call Me Coach

“Don't Call Me Coach” by Tagenar is... You know what? Let's be honest here, I have to praise the author and the artist for the work they did with the cover of this book as it leaves very little to the imagination and you know perfectly well what you're getting into. If you want to buy this book, you will. If you don't, you won't, and I doubt there's anything I could say to change your opinion. However, if like me you were on the fence when you read “high school” on the description, just let me tell you that all characters in this story are 18+, one of them having turned eighteen a couple of months before the story started (take that as you may).

As for those of you who've already read the book, or are interested in my opinion, here's the review.

“Don't Call Me Coach” by Tagenar is the story of Garth Hood, a physics Ph.D. graduate who has to take a job teaching in a high school after not being able to get anything in his field, and this anything even extends to this job as the subjects he was hired to teach were Gym and Social Studies. Making things worse for the thirty-year-old mastiff, one of his students, a Dobermann named Evan Silvers, starts being very open about his interest in him. Now, you might think, this setup is clearly leading into a cheap forbidden-love/erotic-romance and you're partially right (there's sex-a-plenty in this book), but at the same time so very, very wrong. What starts as a cliched porn setup quickly turns up into something I never expected to read, much less be interested in: an educational system critique.

Just follow the outline, this phrase comes over and over again throughout the book. Once used as support for teachers, guidelines have been semi-weaponized against them, restricting them on what they can and cannot teach as well as reduce the need of having competent teachers, or even teachers at all, since anyone can fill that position as long as they follow said guidelines, something that hurts our main character deeply. Hired because of his looks, Garth is to create the guideline for his main class, Gym, while also being forced to follow those of his other classes. Classes, plural. Starting with just 2 subjects, he slowly gets more and more responsibilities. Politics, lacrosse, moderator of the student council... Little by little, Garth starts to lose himself with each new assignment and with each new failed effort to go against the outlines and give his students what they really need, which makes the true main conflict of the story: the struggles of a man going against the system. To be honest, I did not expect the book to go in this direction, and school politics are certainly not a topic I was interested in, but, boy, am I really glad that it happened as that's what kept me glued from one page to the next. Unfortunately, just like how it takes two to tango, school drama is not the only genre of this book...

Evan is a good representation of what the other half of the book is: initially intriguing and captivating, but ultimately flat and underdeveloped. While the romance subplot - and make no mistake, it is a subplot - is a huge hook from the beginning, it suffers a lot not only from how much the school drama (and Garth as a result) is in the spotlight, but also from how much of a non-character Evan is by the end of the novel. I mean, it says a lot when by the end of the book I know more about one minor character who's part of the student council than of the main romance lead who is also on the student council! Moreover, for the most part, Garth and Evan lack any kind of chemistry aside from physical attraction. The numerous sex scenes do not help things either, with the first one or two being well placed and having some meaning behind them, but the book quickly turns into an almost one-scene-per-chapter, usually with the couple meeting each other one page or two before the end of the chapter, saying a couple of lines to each other at most, and then leaving the rest for just “insert A into slot B” sex before rinsing and repeat, almost as if needing to fill a quota. Now, don't take me wrong, I have nothing against “meaningless” sex scenes, nor about the huge number of them, but rather with their spread as the book has a 180-degree turn from barely having anything lewd in the first half while being constantly bombarded with it during the other one.

At the end of the day, I have to say that I enjoyed this book, truly, even if it was for completely different reasons than for what I bought it for, and while I still think that the book could have served better without the romance subplot (or, at least, a very diminished one) I can see why the author decided to include it and why it's even promoted as it is. Before this, I wouldn't have ever thought of buying a book about school politics, and it would have remained like that were it not for the promise of male/male, teacher-student romance.

Tagenar, if I ever go on a teaching/educational system book binge, know that it was all your fault!