Five Feet Apart

3.01/5 stars Everyone in this world is breathing borrowed air.
Hi, my name is Emi and I don't remember how to write a review so I'm gonna bullshit this so let's go!

Here's a fun boring ass fact about me that no one asked for, considering it's been almost a year since I wrote my last review so nobody remembers me anyways, let alone cares, but this is my review so I'm writing whatever the eff I want. You're probably not even reading this so whatever. But anyways, my favorite movie genre is sad teen movies where someone is definitely is gonna die but like the entire movie we pretend that nobody is going to die and then act surprised when they do.

Wow, I'm sorry, you can totally tell it's been a year since I've written a review. Sorry about the mess that is my words. I'll try to do better.

But to recap, I love ya adaptions that follow this simple formula:

1. “Based of the bestselling novel by John Green Author McAuthorface”
2. Teen might die? Or just died? Or if they do they thing they die.
3. Teen fall in love with another teen, who also might be dying (that part is optional)
4. “You can't be in love with teen! You/they/both of you die!” -grown adult that is like a parent figure to teen
5. someone dies and we cry
6. voice over that tells you an important lesson in life and we cry more
7. the end.

Honestly, that is such a formula for a perfect Emi-certified movie. I can't tell you how much I've seen Me and Earl and the Dying Girl or If I Stay or the AwesomenessTV miniseries Zac and Mia. I'm watching Everything Everything as I type this the plot twist at the end gets me everytime! I never see it coming Honestly, if you need a recommendation, I'm your girl.

Now, last year when I learned there was a new movie coming out that ticks off every box of my perfect movie checklist, I was like:



so the first chance I got, which happened to be thousands of feet in the air surrounded by strangers, and like do you know how hard it is not to cry surrounded by stangers? But like, not to toot my own horn, but like i did it. But then I realized, wait is this even a book? I've been book dumb for like two years at this point but like I've never heard of a book called Five Feet Apart about Cystic Fibrosis. Bc if it had existed, I'd have read it. But like, google exists so once I made it to land again, I searched that stuff and realized that hooray, there is a book, but also that this isn't a book to movie adaptation, but a movie to book. At least, that's the vibe I'm getting. According to the Five Feet Apart wikipedia page, the script was written pre-2017 and the book was published in 2018. Weird, I know, but like whatever. It's something I can read, so I one day shipped it off Amazon then proceeded to not touch the book until almost 6 months later.

Not that you wanted the whole story, but you got it. You're welcome.

Let's proceed to the actual book review if any of you are still here:

but this book is about a girl, named Stella, who has Cystic Fibrosis and super structured and planned out and runs a youtube chanel and codes apps and lots of other things that make me jealous bc she's more talented that me and she checks into her home away from home aka the hospital where she's super popular with everyone and she meets new CF patient Will who's the exact opposite of her and doesn't really care about living anymore and that drives Stella up a wall so she convinces him to start doing that and after two dates they love each other and she almost destroys her only chance of extended her life for him.

Like seriously girl, you've waited you whole effing life for a pair of lungs and you almost give it up for a guy? girl, you are more important then that guy you've known for two weeks

So because this was a movie-to-book kinda thing, that's what this book felt like. Things that were important were discussed very briefly, and not so important thing took paragraphs to describe. Most of the dialogue from the movie to the book are the exact same. Word from word. So while watching someone act it out on the movie, it was fine. It written down was the cheesiest, most cliche thing ever. It's the kind of dialogue that makes you shake your head and yell into the abyss that nobody talks like that. Stop making it a thing.

I'd find examples, but my books on the other side of the room so it's not happening. Just trust me.
And the characters are super cliche. Bad boy with soft heart. Talented friendly girl who has life totally planned out. They fall in love.

But like, also, I am a sucker for romance stories at this stage of my life when all my friends are married with babies and I still live with my mother.

I'm tired, so I'm done now. But congrats to me I wrote a review even though it sucks and only 20% of it was actually talking about the book. Whatever. Thanks for reading. You the bomb.com.
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