Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir

This book arrived in the mail the other day. Great title. Great cover. I couldn't wait to read it.

Then I turned the book over and started reading the back.

And that was as far as I got.

Forgive me, but I cannot read this book. If my dad saw me reading this book, he'd wash my mouth out with soap. My mom would have put me in the corner and grounded me for a month. I have friends who would have had a public burning of this book.

I'm afraid it's not a book for me. I'm not really a modern girl who casually mixes the profane with the sacred.

I wish it had never come in the mail for me.

Can we pretend this never happened?