Made You Up

I have so much to say about this book that it's all a jumble and I don't know where to begin. I feel so many things that I'm numb. My heart says one thing and my brain says something completely different. My star rating, then, is somewhere in the middle.

Before I read about how problematic this book is, I really enjoyed it. Initially, I thought it was a bit too Y as far as YA goes, but by part iii I was pretty well invested in (some of) the characters and wanted to see how things would turn out for them. Towards the end, things got pretty emotional.

The book is really very touching and enjoyable in blissful ignorance. It is not an accurate guide to schizophrenia (thanks, brain!), but otherwise there is plenty in the story that I appreciated (thanks, heart!). Apparently the author was in high school when she started writing the book and at university when she finished it. I think this is an astonishing debut novel published at such a young age.

On some level I feel like things were tied up very neatly: something happened with the scoreboard in the past, something happens to Alex with it in the present; something happened with the snake in the past, something happens to Alex with it in the present—and none of it is hallucinatory. Despite loving their daughter and experiencing her schizophrenia from a young age, it's a teenaged boy who has to put the parents in their place, as if he knows what's what, as if public perception of a family member with schizophrenia is the same as the reality (since his mother was basically committed for nothing).

What I appreciate most about it is how well it engenders empathy and enables dialogue about mental health among teenagers. As long as we don't look too closely. It shouldn't be seen as a reliable guide specifically for child onset schizophrenia: I was reading some of the reviews and people are saying that the focus on hallucinations and delusions is really one-sided and that the narrative isn't really accurate. Some said that the author didn't do any research, but I find that difficult to believe.
¯_(ツ)_/¯

hashtag unpopular opinion: I loved Miles.

aside: Never before have I been so taken with a book cover. Never before have I shared a link to the cover with everyone I know, saying, This is the book I'm about to start reading; isn't the cover stunning? The cover is stunning.