Only Ever Yours

Only Ever Yours

2015 • 398 pages

Oh no. This book was awful. It's terrible. 400 pages of the protagonist never making a decision or displaying any agency, pages and pages of clothing descriptions, and an entirely unchanged status quo at the end.
It feels like a student's reaction to the prompt “The Handmaid's Tale for Teens, but Fashion” or “What if Patriarchy, but Too Much.”
It could be interpreted as a commentary on the ultimate distillation of cis hetero patriarchy, but it never says much about it other than “hey, wouldn't it suck if they said the quiet part loud?”

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON

Nothing is revealed until the very end, but there are enough hints that the twists do not feel unexpected. The protagonist had no agency at any point in the plot. I kept reading, expecting her to make a decision, to take a stand on something, to discover something deep within herself that she cared about, but she didn't. It was a long book with excruciating detail, pages after pages of outfits and body angst, and a main character whose only motivation is to be liked, and who never expresses her opinion on the rare occasions when she can be bothered to think of one. Beyond that, we get the flimsiest bits of world building, ostensibly because the section of this dystopian society we're following is closed off, with no one on the inside knowing or caring about the world beyond. However, it comes across as careless, like a shaky explanation for how this world could ever exist. The author's justification is that climate change, combined with a sudden plague that killed all female embryos in the womb, drove the human race nearly to extinction, with populations in the low thousands. Humans constructed domes to live in, with fake wall screens for sky, and managed to live in a world devoid of plants and animals. Men create women in laboratories based on their ideals of womanhood, which are exaggerated 20th century stereotypes of vapid, vain people obsessed with clothes and social status. The girls are constantly subjected to propaganda about how unattractive and fat they are, and they are pitted against one another.
As previously stated, the main character does not make any independent decisions throughout the novel. She never had power and never sought it. She has a tragic ending that reveals she is just one of many troublemakers ultimately crushed by the society (although she never actually causes significant trouble). I suppose the author chose to show us a failed version of the YA dystopia girlboss, claiming that many will try and fail before one is cunning enough to succeed. That was the most charitable interpretation I could come up with for the ending's messaging, but there didn't really seem to be one.
Overall, it was a slog that triggered my eating disorder and left the status quo completely unchanged at the end of the book, which I would consider....a bad thing. A novel with no discernible plot. It says nothing insightful about the issues it raises.

June 27, 2022