Perfection of the Morning: A Woman's Awakening in Nature

Some books speak to us at just the right time; it's unsettling to realize that there may be other books or voices that we've ignored in the past because we weren't who we are today.

On the surface it makes little sense that this book would move me. There are no relationships, no conversations; other humans appear only briefly and even then it's through a smudged telescope, vague hazy impressions with no sense of how their orbits affect Butala's. There's an epic loneliness all throughout the book, so vast that it feels almost Holy. Butala also spends rather a lot of time navelgazing: ruminating on dreams, looping about the cosmic significance of finding a certain rock in just the right place at the right time. What I usually call Meaningfulness Junkie thinking. (But then, near the end, she disarmingly writes: “I am a writer. [...] I will always go too far, say too much, examine nuances too minutely for everyday life.” Touché).

Under that surface though is a powerful bedrock of insight and, okay, Meaning. Over years of living in stark remote country Butala develops a deep appreciation for the natural world. That in itself isn't surprising; what I find remarkable is how Butala shares that process of discovery. And especially connection: many of her insights resonate with me in a way that would not have been imaginable to pre-2014 me; before my first exposure to entheogenic medicine. That brings up such a complex swirl of emotions: loss over what I've missed and might still be missing; wonder, at her ability to see and describe; awe at this world and our place in it; joy. And much more, but right now what seems important is to wrap this up and go outside, get lost in the woods for a few hours. All I can say in closing is: there's much much more: about culture, being a woman, climate change, loss. I think there's a subset of my friends who would really appreciate this book, who will get much out of it and (if female) much different than what I did; and I would love to compare notes one day.