The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet

2014 • 518 pages

Ratings472

Average rating4.1

15

I quit a third of the way in when they didn't even start their way to the small, angry planet. Yes. They are doing shopping at a market planet and a third of the book is already gone. If that tells you anything about the speed here then I'm happy I could help.

Here we have a space ship where a bunch of different creatures (though mostly humans) live together and do abso-fucking-lutely nothing interesting whatsoever. They get a new clerk and that's cool. I suppose?
So why did I hate this book so much?

This story is Tumblr and The Double Standards, The Novel. I doubt anyone has ever created something so kitchy and overly sweet while also being such a piece of shit deep down. This book manages to hit you in the head with the most forced positive sensitive snowflake shit while also being so incredibly two-faced it made me retch. I can explain it all through examples.

- This crew is a big family. They love everyone, they take in everyone, from feathered lizard creatures to humans with physical issues to one of the last members of a dying race that looks like (and I quote) ‘pudding with legs'. How quaint. They also have a single white man on the ship they hate and every single time he shows up everyone gets visibly disgusted by him. Is he nice? Nah. Would I be nice if my OWN CAPTAIN had self-professed issues with getting used to the sight of white people? Fuck no.
- Humans are constantly said to be the lowest of low idiotic pieces of inconsequential shit. Cool. They can do their shit in the galaxy but like... YUCK humans. At the same time Rosemary, the clerk has to think about her privilege because her family is rich. She literally thinks she is ashamed of having privileged ancestors because she had never eaten a certain type of “commoner” food.
- The feather-lizard types are constantly having orgies left and right while also don't give a shit about their offspring, which is considered to be a beautiful, colourful, diverse culture that everyone has to accept and love, Rosemary even repeatedly scolds HERSELF for not being automatically super into it, but humans are treated like total idiots for being monogamous or even just not wanting their long time sexual partners to die a violent death.
- It's horrible to call a space-feather-lizard a lizard even though it is a very mild insult, but repeatedly stealing others' personal hygiene tools they have paid for with their own money because they wanted to take care of their own specific needs is UWU cutesy quirky.
- Doing your job high out of your fucking mind while the life of people depends on you is cool, but not wanting to partake in said drug use makes you an asshole.

Honestly, I absolutely can't stand the fact that this book lacks any form of self-aware thinking when it comes to its own biases that are hiding behind this bullshit Care Bear glitter world. Anything human is automatically hated, anything alien, even when it's not at all nice or kind is magical and lovely. But hey, tolerance, UWU.
The issue of this is not helped by the god awful dialogue, absolutely brought to the highest level of the character Kizzy, who is this hyperactive, annoying ass mechanic. She sounds like a 12-year-old girl on Tumblr.

I have no idea where this book ends up, but if I have to suffer through one more page of Rosemary self-censoring her own thoughts that weren't even bad, just kind of surprised or confused because every fucking alien species of psychos is magically superior and wonderful just because Becky Chambers wanted us to feel like living a life that is considered normal by real world society is bad I am going to scream.
This thing is preachy, treats its reader like an idiot and does things just because being quirky without reasons is so in this season. Also, social constructs. I have heard that's a good buzzword, not like the stupid habits of aliens aren't as much of social constructs as actually not letting your fucking kids die is, but hey. Humanz R doodooheads, lulz.

I do not recommend this to anyone.

February 24, 2019Report this review