The Reptile Room

4.5:

INCREDIBLY DEADLY VIPER, NOOO :(

Gee, is there not a single adult in the Baudelaire children's life who isn't either a repugnant jerk, abysmally incompetent and full of themselves, or dead? Why is Mr. Poe in charge, what an irritating little man. But he did deliver the absolute best quote in the whole book:

“Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne!”

This was good! Olaf was nasty Monty was pretty decent! And there was that Herpetological Society dickwad who was rude and dismissive for no reason. Bad, bad, bad. Fuck you, Bruce.

I'm extremely upset at the ambiguous fate given to all the animals, I just can't get over it. WHAT do you mean they might just be put down? I'm heartbroken.

Once again I'm choosing to ignore Lemony Snicket's warnings about this story not going anywhere nice because I'm having so much fun with it. A literal murder takes place in this book, but somehow it's way more hilarious than the first one? Hang in there, Baudelaires!