White fragility

This book was hard to rate. It is not without its value; there are many white people who would read this and not be familiar with some of the things addressed and there are many of us that NEED our bullshit to be called on. I'm sure I do, too. But based on my arbitrary rating method- “two stars=I struggled to finish/wouldn't recommend”...two stars it is.

The author uses ALOT of ancedotal evidence, which while isn't ideal, could still illustrate her point, but most of her ancedotal evidence involves her detailing a white person screaming/crying at her for calling them on their racism, and always has an air of “I am one of the GOOD whites” smugness about it. Then she generalizes that experience into how all white people react to any criticism. White people: incapable of handling criticism. A tad ironic. She also doesn't seem to understand how human psychology works-it seems she tries to purposefully get the white person (and indeed, the white audience) on the defensive because being defensive makes one “question their beliefs”. It can, sure. But often it just makes them reinforce whatever belief they're holding, because it makes you “the enemy” and “the enemy” can't be “right”. It's faulty logic, but people are faulty, and so it's much more effective to engage them while understanding that. It's a hard line to walk, though. White people have been operating on such an ignorant brainwave for so long that we need and deserve to be wrenched out of our comfort zones. So I don't know where the line is between hindering your cause or educating the masses that have refused to see how their actions effect others. But her examples didn't strike me as particularly productive.

And on any subject, dismissing any criticism against what you're saying as “but then you're ___” is a disengenous way of engaging. I'm sure there are a vast amount of ways in which the default answers that white people give about why they are not racist is inadequate or facilitating the systems that hold racism in place. But dismissing literally any person that tries to discuss with you as “ah, but that's racist” is just a poor way of going about your business. But I guess that makes me racist. Le sigh.

I will say that I appreciate the hard position the author has to walk with this book. Trying to educate without seeming like virtue signaling. Trying to relay the black experience while being white, trying not to be labeled a “white savior” while also trying to engage in what I hope was good faith.

Overall, I think the book offers a starting point but there are a plethora of books from POC authors that have much more value.