Wulf C. Krueger
Anything for You: A Feminist Utopia Wrapped in Warmth and Wit. I just wish it wasn’t fiction.
“Anything for You” by Samantha Brinn is the third instalment of the “Laws of You” series and continues the story of Hallie, Julie, Molly, and, in this novel, Emma.
These four female protagonists are best friends (or “found family” as they regard each other) and share a law practice. They’re all strong, capable, empathetic women in their late twenties or early thirties with distinct personalities and well-established backgrounds. They basically read a little too well to be true but that’s part of my enjoyment of these novels, and we’ll get to that in a moment.
Beyond that, they’re part of a group of friends and partners most of whom appear in every novel. While I usually much prefer small cameo appearances, this different approach works brilliantly here: While Brinn’s focus is clearly on the respective protagonists, she effortlessly succeeds in adding the established couples to the mix and enhancing the overall story and atmosphere without diluting the main story.
In this novel, part of the side story is about Hallie getting married to her partner from the first novel. Perfectly in keeping with both the style and the outlook, Brinn allows her heroes to shed traditions that do not suit them. She does so without pathos or a missionary zeal, but rather in the spirit of genuine acceptance and a freely chosen togetherness built on respect and understanding. This is evident, for example, in how the clothing of Hallie's friends is handled for her wedding.
»Hallie didn’t care about the colors or anything—she just wanted us each to wear something we loved that looked like us.«
While the first two novels centred on Hallie and Julie respectively, this one is about Emma and Jeremy. Jeremy, a former hockey player, now running a charitable sports organisation, has fallen in love with Emma at least eight years before the events of this novel. Emma has pretty much felt the same about him for a similarly long time. So, what’s the problem?
»They are the best people in the world, and I didn’t feel worthy of them. I still don’t.«
First of all, Emma and Jeremy are both introverts, which immediately endeared them to me. Complicating matters, eight years ago, they had a one-night stand that ended with Jeremy fleeing and Emma in disarray over her feelings. Since then, despite seeing each other in their shared friend group all the time, they’ve hardly spoken to each other beyond a few words and “secret” moments of tender kindness that both are confused about but feel unable to address.
»Emma matches me stride for stride, and our synchronicity is soothing.«
“Anything for You” is the story of them overcoming their inhibitions and, inevitably, slowly building a relationship despite their respective challenges. Brinn writes with exceptional sensitivity and warmth about her protagonists. She has a remarkable ability to bring out the nuances of different characters and to make them come vividly to life as you read. Added to this is a deep, humane sense of humour and an unmistakably liberal-progressive outlook, which I find very appealing. These are her great strengths, which have captivated me ever since reading her first book.
»“I was twenty-two years old, Jeremy. I wasn’t a kid, and I wanted to sleep with you. Virginity is a patriarchal construct to make women ashamed of sex, and nothing we did was shameful. It’s Gloria Steinem’s world, baby, and we’re just living in it.«
Sadly, even more than 50 years (!) after she wrote it, we’re not (yet!) in Steinem’s world (which you can read more about in Steinem’s brilliant “What It Would Be Like if Women Win" (cf. media URL)). With which we come back to my earlier statement about our protagonists feeling too good to be true.
The world depicted in this novel as well as the entire series is very much Gloria Steinem’s: a world transformed by gender equality, where traditional power structures are dismantled, and women’s values shape society. Steinem describes a future in which caregiving and collaboration are prioritized, workplaces accommodate family needs, and institutions no longer uphold male dominance. Rather than simply reversing gender roles, Steinem envisioned a more balanced and humane society where individuals are free from rigid, oppressive expectations. As a man, I would love to live in Steinem’s world.
»“Ems,” I whine. “I’m telling you my biggest truths here. Can’t you just tell me what to do?”
She looks unimpressed. “You told me you’re unhappy in your job. Welcome to being a person in the world. We’re so happy to have you. Take some time, Jeremy. Think about what makes you happy. What you used to love about going to work. Start there, and you’ll figure it out. You can talk to me about it whenever you want. I love hearing you talk, and I always want to help, but this isn’t a decision I can make for you.”«
I cannot think of any better utopia for all of us, regardless of gender. I am all too aware that I have contributed to inequality myself—and, regrettably, sometimes still do. But for my wife, my adult children, and all of us, I deeply wish for a world like this. I wouldn’t label myself as “woke,” as I don’t think it’s a useful self-description. Rather, I would simply like to be seen that way, and I try my best to live up to it.
Brinn’s books offer me a glimpse into such a utopian world, opening up perspectives that were largely unfamiliar in my upbringing, and only partially accessible to me as a young(er) man. The fact that I sometimes question the realism of these characters reveals just how far we still have to go. I wish—especially for my children—that I had recognised this decades ago.
»“You are enough, just the way you are. Now go. Drink. Shower. Comfortable clothes.” Jeremy doesn’t say anything else. He just follows my instructions and downs the drink in one swallow then heads to the shower. And when he disappears up the stairs, I pull out my phone and call in the troops.«
At the same time, these remarkable books also provide a brief escape from the real world. In the past, my refuge was video games; today, it is books. But it is more than mere escapism—it is a longing for a more just world for all of us, and I hope to see it realised in my lifetime. Despite the frustrating, disheartening, and infuriating setbacks, such as the recent re-election of the orange criminal and the sycophantic allegiance of his “tech-bro” enablers, I remain convinced that these are temporary relapses.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m not comparing Brinn to Steinem. However, I do admire Brinn’s ability to create a kinder, fairer world in her books. We all stand on the shoulders of giants, and I have great admiration for anyone who contributes to that vision.
Viewed in this light, the minor weaknesses in Brinn’s books regarding grammar and punctuation are easily forgiven—though, of course, a more thorough edit would be welcome.
»I stare at Emma, fascinated by all of her layers. I wonder if there will ever be a day I stop learning new things about her. I doubt it. I hope not.«
I’m citing this one last because beyond its simplicity, it reminded me of a quote by Max Frisch from his diaries:
»It is remarkable that we are least able to say what the person we love is truly like. We simply love them. This, in fact, is the essence of love—the wondrous nature of love—that it keeps us in the suspension of the living, in the willingness to follow a person through all their possible transformations.
[...]
Our belief that we truly know the other marks the end of love—every time. But perhaps cause and effect are different from what we are tempted to assume. It is not that our love ends because we have come to know the other; rather, the reverse is true: because our love ends, because its strength is exhausted, the person becomes ‘complete’ in our eyes. They must be. We can no longer go on! We withdraw our willingness to embrace further transformations. We deny them the essential right of all living beings—to remain unfathomable—and at the same time, we are bewildered and disappointed that our relationship no longer feels alive.«
Above all else, this is, in my humble opinion, one of the most crucial aspects of lasting relationships. For my wife and me, at least, it has been working for more than 25 years and counting. I love you, C., and am eternally grateful that we’re both open to change with each other.
Five stars out of five.
Ceterum censeo Putin esse delendam
Originally posted at turing.mailstation.de.
Anything for You: A Feminist Utopia Wrapped in Warmth and Wit. I just wish it wasn’t fiction.
“Anything for You” by Samantha Brinn is the third instalment of the “Laws of You” series and continues the story of Hallie, Julie, Molly, and, in this novel, Emma.
These four female protagonists are best friends (or “found family” as they regard each other) and share a law practice. They’re all strong, capable, empathetic women in their late twenties or early thirties with distinct personalities and well-established backgrounds. They basically read a little too well to be true but that’s part of my enjoyment of these novels, and we’ll get to that in a moment.
Beyond that, they’re part of a group of friends and partners most of whom appear in every novel. While I usually much prefer small cameo appearances, this different approach works brilliantly here: While Brinn’s focus is clearly on the respective protagonists, she effortlessly succeeds in adding the established couples to the mix and enhancing the overall story and atmosphere without diluting the main story.
In this novel, part of the side story is about Hallie getting married to her partner from the first novel. Perfectly in keeping with both the style and the outlook, Brinn allows her heroes to shed traditions that do not suit them. She does so without pathos or a missionary zeal, but rather in the spirit of genuine acceptance and a freely chosen togetherness built on respect and understanding. This is evident, for example, in how the clothing of Hallie's friends is handled for her wedding.
»Hallie didn’t care about the colors or anything—she just wanted us each to wear something we loved that looked like us.«
While the first two novels centred on Hallie and Julie respectively, this one is about Emma and Jeremy. Jeremy, a former hockey player, now running a charitable sports organisation, has fallen in love with Emma at least eight years before the events of this novel. Emma has pretty much felt the same about him for a similarly long time. So, what’s the problem?
»They are the best people in the world, and I didn’t feel worthy of them. I still don’t.«
First of all, Emma and Jeremy are both introverts, which immediately endeared them to me. Complicating matters, eight years ago, they had a one-night stand that ended with Jeremy fleeing and Emma in disarray over her feelings. Since then, despite seeing each other in their shared friend group all the time, they’ve hardly spoken to each other beyond a few words and “secret” moments of tender kindness that both are confused about but feel unable to address.
»Emma matches me stride for stride, and our synchronicity is soothing.«
“Anything for You” is the story of them overcoming their inhibitions and, inevitably, slowly building a relationship despite their respective challenges. Brinn writes with exceptional sensitivity and warmth about her protagonists. She has a remarkable ability to bring out the nuances of different characters and to make them come vividly to life as you read. Added to this is a deep, humane sense of humour and an unmistakably liberal-progressive outlook, which I find very appealing. These are her great strengths, which have captivated me ever since reading her first book.
»“I was twenty-two years old, Jeremy. I wasn’t a kid, and I wanted to sleep with you. Virginity is a patriarchal construct to make women ashamed of sex, and nothing we did was shameful. It’s Gloria Steinem’s world, baby, and we’re just living in it.«
Sadly, even more than 50 years (!) after she wrote it, we’re not (yet!) in Steinem’s world (which you can read more about in Steinem’s brilliant “What It Would Be Like if Women Win" (cf. media URL)). With which we come back to my earlier statement about our protagonists feeling too good to be true.
The world depicted in this novel as well as the entire series is very much Gloria Steinem’s: a world transformed by gender equality, where traditional power structures are dismantled, and women’s values shape society. Steinem describes a future in which caregiving and collaboration are prioritized, workplaces accommodate family needs, and institutions no longer uphold male dominance. Rather than simply reversing gender roles, Steinem envisioned a more balanced and humane society where individuals are free from rigid, oppressive expectations. As a man, I would love to live in Steinem’s world.
»“Ems,” I whine. “I’m telling you my biggest truths here. Can’t you just tell me what to do?”
She looks unimpressed. “You told me you’re unhappy in your job. Welcome to being a person in the world. We’re so happy to have you. Take some time, Jeremy. Think about what makes you happy. What you used to love about going to work. Start there, and you’ll figure it out. You can talk to me about it whenever you want. I love hearing you talk, and I always want to help, but this isn’t a decision I can make for you.”«
I cannot think of any better utopia for all of us, regardless of gender. I am all too aware that I have contributed to inequality myself—and, regrettably, sometimes still do. But for my wife, my adult children, and all of us, I deeply wish for a world like this. I wouldn’t label myself as “woke,” as I don’t think it’s a useful self-description. Rather, I would simply like to be seen that way, and I try my best to live up to it.
Brinn’s books offer me a glimpse into such a utopian world, opening up perspectives that were largely unfamiliar in my upbringing, and only partially accessible to me as a young(er) man. The fact that I sometimes question the realism of these characters reveals just how far we still have to go. I wish—especially for my children—that I had recognised this decades ago.
»“You are enough, just the way you are. Now go. Drink. Shower. Comfortable clothes.” Jeremy doesn’t say anything else. He just follows my instructions and downs the drink in one swallow then heads to the shower. And when he disappears up the stairs, I pull out my phone and call in the troops.«
At the same time, these remarkable books also provide a brief escape from the real world. In the past, my refuge was video games; today, it is books. But it is more than mere escapism—it is a longing for a more just world for all of us, and I hope to see it realised in my lifetime. Despite the frustrating, disheartening, and infuriating setbacks, such as the recent re-election of the orange criminal and the sycophantic allegiance of his “tech-bro” enablers, I remain convinced that these are temporary relapses.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m not comparing Brinn to Steinem. However, I do admire Brinn’s ability to create a kinder, fairer world in her books. We all stand on the shoulders of giants, and I have great admiration for anyone who contributes to that vision.
Viewed in this light, the minor weaknesses in Brinn’s books regarding grammar and punctuation are easily forgiven—though, of course, a more thorough edit would be welcome.
»I stare at Emma, fascinated by all of her layers. I wonder if there will ever be a day I stop learning new things about her. I doubt it. I hope not.«
I’m citing this one last because beyond its simplicity, it reminded me of a quote by Max Frisch from his diaries:
»It is remarkable that we are least able to say what the person we love is truly like. We simply love them. This, in fact, is the essence of love—the wondrous nature of love—that it keeps us in the suspension of the living, in the willingness to follow a person through all their possible transformations.
[...]
Our belief that we truly know the other marks the end of love—every time. But perhaps cause and effect are different from what we are tempted to assume. It is not that our love ends because we have come to know the other; rather, the reverse is true: because our love ends, because its strength is exhausted, the person becomes ‘complete’ in our eyes. They must be. We can no longer go on! We withdraw our willingness to embrace further transformations. We deny them the essential right of all living beings—to remain unfathomable—and at the same time, we are bewildered and disappointed that our relationship no longer feels alive.«
Above all else, this is, in my humble opinion, one of the most crucial aspects of lasting relationships. For my wife and me, at least, it has been working for more than 25 years and counting. I love you, C., and am eternally grateful that we’re both open to change with each other.
Five stars out of five.
Ceterum censeo Putin esse delendam
Originally posted at turing.mailstation.de.