ren sparks

this was a little confusing to read because of so many characters, POVs, political plots, and jumps in the timeline. also the characters felt a little bland so it was hard to care about the main plot. so while it was meant to be mysterious and thrilling, I was just bored. the writing itself did kind of save it for me. there were several quotes and feelings expressed through the main character's POV that resonated with me so I appreciated that for sure. maybe this plot just wasn't for me.

I've been trying to think of what to say about this book for an entire day. it's been difficult to even find the words honestly. the two words that come easy are “tragic” and “beautiful”. this story is about love and hate, family and isolation, creativity and destruction, stealing and giving, living and dying. the way it was written is unlike anything I've ever read in the best way possible. you can just feel how much care went into writing it and making it the work of art that it is. all of the characters felt so real and that made it really hard to read at some points. I think the narration device used was so powerful but also heartbreaking. I think it's best to go in as blind as possible when reading this, so all I will say is I think this has got to be one of my all-time favorite books. the story itself and all of the perspective you get from it are so, so important and I think every one should read it.

here's some of my favorite quotes;

“I've seen so many young men over the years who think they're running at other young men. They are not. They're running at me.”

“I carried them in my fingers, like suitcases. Or I'd throw them over my shoulder. It was only the children I carried in my arms...But it's hard to keep them warm when the souls still shiver.”

“I have hated the words and I have loved them, and hope I have made them right.”

“You taught me to read. No one can play like you. I'll never drink champagne. No one can play like you.”

i said it before and i'll say it again, idgaf about your swim meet.

omfg. finally!!!!!! i finished this. this was just not for me. i didn't feel connected to the story or the characters. the “plot”, if you can call it that, was so bland. maybe it's just the high school drama/sporting life problems the main character was going through that i just couldn't relate to, but i literally was so bored and could not care less about what was going on. the writing was fine but nothing super unique about the narrative or tone that stood out to me. so yep, it's a 2 from me.

why did they insist on giving everyone a nickname in this town....???

anyways, loved demon. i just imagined him being the cutest little boy ever and i felt so connected to him from the start. i think this could've been a 5 stars if it was structured differently because it had its moments where really nothing was being added to the story and it got a little boring/repetitive. still though i did really enjoy it.

pretty much just vile people doing vile things for the sake of being vile, but thats Ottessa Moshfegh for you.

on a real note though, the vibes in the first half CARRIED. I'm not sure why but I kinda got disinterested in the second half, so that's why I bumped it down to 3.5 stars. still love ya though Ottessa you brilliantly sick woman.

this woman is essentially in a downward spiral and she knows it, and yet she's actively trying to seek help in the weirdest ways imaginable. there is a good balance of the “slice of life” and actual storyline-esque plot structures, which made everything flow very well. really gives all the sad girl vibes.