Ratings1
Average rating4.5
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA so anyway, this book gave me a migraine because of how much dread I've felt reading it. It’s been a very long time since I've read something this heavy in atmosphere, and yet, it still felt different than something like CUT or Ito-san. In the middle of chapter two I needed to sit the book down and take a nap after about an hour because I was already feeling so anxious Alan that it made me fucking tired. I’ve been looking for exactly this feeling for months! The hurt/comfort here was like Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas morning. I was bawling my eyes out, I was fucking miserable caring so hard about two fictional characters! I was having the time of my life reading this.
One of my main setbacks, though, was the high levels of religious preaching coming from ... everywhere. I get it, it was his upbringing and a huge part of the story. I think it's because my Baptist upbringing was never a negative one and I just have to remember that not everyone’s religious experience is that fortunate.
The other thing was the age gap situation. It's very well known that Alan is 17 when they first met. Hayden's, however, is very rocky. He's either between 18 (turning 19 that year) to 21 and the thought that he was 19 or 20 looking at Alan that way bothers me a little more than the religious talk. That being said, 17 was the legal age in Texas in 1999... Plus, it started in winter and Alan most likely have been 18 for some months by the time any romance started between them. Also, the little note at the end talking about how everyone was legally above age is funny to me because I’ve never seen that disclaimer at the end of a BL before. It still just felt weird to me, though.