A Vindication of Love

I can get behind the idea of this book, that romantic love is transformative and empowering, precisely because of the risks you face because of it. I admire Nehring's willingness to put this idea out there as a feminist argument. I think she's probably right. But I wish she had used other “evidence” besides classical literature. Examples from contemporary life. Interviews. Her own stories. I mean, I already respected Heloise and Simone de Beauvoir and Mary Shelley for their ability to be lovers and be independent and be brilliant thinkers. Surely there are others?

Nice little fantasy romp, but ultimately unsatisfying. Nehring claims that passion is missing from our lives – but is it? The case studies she presents certainly illustrate her points, but only in the way that J.P. Morgan and Warren Buffett would illustrate a “Personal Finance for Beginners” book: as extremes, even caricatures. In comparison to Diego and Frida, yes, most of us have tame love lives. But how is that a bad thing? Most of us aren't – and don't want to be – fiery temperamental rich artist types.

Kudos to Nehring for her insightful breakdown of the elements of ardor: power inequality, taboos, challenges. Most of us can take something home from that. But what is she really trying to accomplish with this book, with her over-the-top examples? Who among her readers will tell their spouse “see, honey, it's perfectly fine and even necessary for me to have an affaire de coeur”? It seems almost like she's defending her own needs.

Ultimately, though, I enjoyed this book. It's engaging, entertaining, educational, even inspiring.