ACT with Love

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is my primary modality for treating folks in individual therapy, and the kind of couples therapy I do (Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy) has a high degree of overlap with ACT. I was excited to read an explicitly ACT-oriented self-help approach for couples, and was impressed with Harris' book. It's a good length, written accessibly without being cheesy, and has a lot of wisdom. I think some people chafe against the idea of acceptance (e.g., “I just have to accept what I don't like about my partner???”), but the heart of the book (and ACT more broadly) is about values. So, yeah...if staying in your relationship is more important to you than your dislikes, you are going to have to figure out a way to may it work (and Harris provides lots of detail about how to do that mindfully). That's not complacence; that's prioritizing one of your own values above another. But we all get to choose. Anyway, I've used parts of it with patients already, and would recommend it both professionally and personally to most folks.