i'm genuinely on the fence with rounding this up to 5 or down to 4, and i think it's because i read this book in nearly one sitting (and slept maybe 3hrs looool oops) so i'm still reeling from processing the journey it took me on. in a good way, but i can't totally decide how i feel about it lol.
this book made me feel a lot of things and it did it really REALLY well. i can't believe this is a debut, and i'm so glad i picked it up. i definitely want to read more from this author in the future. brown wrote his characters so realistically and in such a clear and precise way, nothing was wasted. from the GATE this book intrigued me and kept me thinking about it when i wasn't reading, which is pretty amazing. i remember thinking at one point after starting the book “wow i can't stop thinking about this story” and then realized i was only at 10% in and just was like, that's masterful.
i'm wondering if maybe the reason why i'm struggling to rate this higher is because it actually triggered real global apocalypse anxiety in me, because some of the situations in this book felt TOO realistic, like we're way too close to actually being in that situation irl for comfort. laughs hollowly. reading the author's note afterwards made me realize that was definitely not the author's intention but then i'm thinking maybe the ending just didn't 100% land for me. it was damn close though and i don't regret reading it for even a second.
also as an aside, i actually love post-apocalyptic stories. but i'm also INCREDIBLY picky with them. and this one does everything so well, the anxiety, the isolation, the DESCRIPTIONS and details of situations both boys get themselves into, even the timeframe of the story itself. i'm also INCREDIBLY picky with ya these days. i tend to DNF within pages if i'm all too aware of them being clearly written by adults who are guessing at what teenagers are like, it's so cringe and gives me second hand embarrassment, i can't even read it. this ..... was the opposite of that. this sounds sort of condescending but i mean it as a compliment, this was so well written.