Childfree by Choice

Never have I heard such a thorough examination full of research, data, and personal stories from all ages and sexual orientations on why men and women get judged, belittled, and considered less-than for being childfree.

Women probably catch more flack because somewhere, somehow our value has been solely tied to our vaginas instead of our individuality. Dr. Blackstone puts forth such a well-researched treatise from which we can draw our knowledgable conclusions. My conclusion? We, as a society, can do better.

But this book is more than all that–it breaks down the societal roles and contributions of both parents and non-parents through a historical and scientific lense.

This book reads like Freakonomics; it's accessible and full of interesting, historical insight into the world we find ourselves today. Parenting isn't just a logical, unquestioned next step for everyone–it's a choice. End stop.

It's a bit of a cheat to say I finished this book - I had to put it down towards the end. One of the first in my attempt to read more nonfiction, one recommended by a friend.

I found the first two chapters informative and interesting, packed with reviews of (albeit sometimes questionable) studies and interviews. One such part discussed how birthrates have oscillated throughout history.

Towards the middle of the book and to the point where I gave in, the writing becomes focused on anecdotes of people who have decided not to have kids and why and how they still somehow manage to find fulfilment without children in their lives (shock horror! who knew such a thing was possible).

At this point, the value I was gaining from the book swiftly vanished. If you are someone who doesn't want kids, I think you may find a form of validation in this.

As that is not my case and I was more-so reading to gain new perspective, I found it self-gratifying to a grating extent. I think it would be equally distasteful to read of people talking about their reasons for having kids. Simply put, I don't care.

This is the first book in a while that has made me want to write down a review though (even if it is just me complaining)- so that's something.

Excellent Premise. Good yet flawed effort. As an introduction to the childfree movement and its history, this book serves as a solid primer for anyone who does not know either or both of these topics. As someone who is childfree and is active in various levels of working within the childfree community, I had very high hopes for this book. Unfortunately this book just had too many flaws to rate it any higher than the three stars I decided to give it. For one, it makes scientific claims using only sociological evidence. Which is perhaps allowed in the author's own background in the humanities and specifically sociology, but this reader is a trained scientist with a math and computer background. The book also tries to back up many of its claims with studies that often have only a couple of dozen participants or less - again, perhaps a valid tactic in sociological research circles, but in the statistical analysis world more familiar to this reader would be laughed out of even a bachelor's level statistics class. Also, while the book is titled referring to the entire childfree movement, its arguments and discussions are almost entirely from the female perspective, and even when the male perspective is included it is more often denigrated as too small to study or present. Finally, all of these combine to leave the severe impression of a major case of confirmation bias on the part of the author - even from someone predisposed to trying to see this book in the best possible light and wanting it to succeed in order to help bring light to an aspect of his own life.

Overall a solid yet flawed effort, and highly recommended despite the flaws - the conversation it presents is truly that critical, and the book does a genuinely adequate job of at least opening that conversation.