Dear Wendy

Genre: YA/NA Fiction (kinda like a romance but make it platonic)
Pub date: TODAY! (April 16)
Narration: First person present tense, dual POV
Diversity: aroace, nonbinary, Chinese American main characters
Rating: 3.6⭐

Dear Wendy is about two students at Wellesley who both give relationship/life advice anonymously on instagram to their fellow students. But one in a sincere and thorough way (Sophie) and the other in a sarcastic and funny way (Jo). They quickly become rivals, while becoming friends in real life. They're also both aroace (aromantic and asexual).

This felt like a nod to many of the romcoms of my life growing up, (Jo's last name is even Ephron!) but in a platonic friendship way. The main story is inspired by You've Got Mail.

I loved that the main message of this book was that you don't need a romantic relationship to have love and fulfillment in your life. How important friendships and the feeling of belonging can be, and how love is not reserved just for romance. This is good to internalize not just for aromantic people but alloromantics as well. I loved how much the two main characters cared about each other, and their budding friendship felt genuine. It also showed how much finding people who are similar to you can make you feel accepted in a special way.

I also really appreciated all the different representations in the book, both a-spec and not. There were trans characters, sapphic characters, demisexual and so on. Sophie has known she's aroace for a while but for Jo it's much newer. This offers nuanced takes into navigating a world that often prioritizes romance.

There were two main aspects I didn't enjoy. But I don't want that to take away from the fact that it's also a very valuable book to read and exist. I'd highly recommend this book, especially if you wouldn't be bothered by the following.

My main issue with it is how much Jo is working against her friends for most of the book. Friendships are incredibly important to me, which is why I greatly appreciated the importance the book gives friendships, but I hated Jo for their thoughts and actions for most of the book. (small spoiler) They do eventually own up to the fact that they messed up, and I think their feelings do make sense with them coming to terms with their aroace identity, but it was painful for me to read those parts.

The other thing I didn't love was their online feud. Especially when it was more one sided, it genuinely felt like bullying and made me very uncomfortable to root for the character(s). Not cute, not funny, just rude. I would have immediately blocked them.

There are other aspects of this book I could nitpick, like some conversations that could have gone a bit deeper, how the third act breakup was unnecessary, but these were smaller issues that didn't impact my overall enjoyment.

Thank you to Macmillan Books, Feiwel and Friends and NetGalley for the eARC!

this glorified wellesley fanfic was mildly entertaining (as someone who also went to a massachusetts historically women's college, but a generation ago, while we were still having the same conversations about gender and sexuality but a little before they were called “historically” women's colleges) but not anything mind-blowing. i was honestly ready to give up about a third of the way through because sophie and jo's juvenile (literally; felt like i was witnessing junior high schoolers, not college first-years) online feud was so exhausting to read, and it felt like it went on forever. i also listened a little bit to the audiobook and i think that didn't help my impression of sophie being mad annoying/holier-than-thou. eventually her friends tell her to get over herself and she somewhat improves, though, so thank you side characters, even if your personalities all kind of melded into one amorphous sounding board.

as for the aroace stuff: it was sometimes hard to tell what was like, a character's fear of abandonment or personal insecurity or past hangup versus part of a particular identity-related struggle, if that makes sense. not that they have to be particularly distinct from one another, but i also don't know if i was left with a particularly strong impression of aromanticism, or even why/how our protagonists liked each other intensely enough for things to fall somewhere beyond friendship. they were completely unnecessarily petty and obsessively mean online, but upon the inevitable reveal, the focus just narrowed down to “you didn't tell me your secret identity and that's why i'm mad”? huh??

ps. it doesn't exactly spoil anything, but ann zhao really went ahead and casually described the final scene in alice wu's last movie just like that, lol.

pps. i've been removed from it for quite a while now but reading this book just reminded me (not in a good way) how insular small liberal arts college subculture (and hyperlocalized queer communities) can be. i worked in a higher ed setting for a while after uni. it's just the same old stuff!

I DNF'd with 15 minutes left of the audio. I was going to at an hour and a half and I should have.

It wasn't for me. I didn't hate the writing style or the narrators. I didn't relate to the story and it wasn't because it was aro-ace. I actually specifically picked this book for that reason. I wanted more insight to the thoughts and brain of an aro-ace person but the biggest concern was them being lonely their whole lives. Also there's a weird battle on social media between the two main characters. I like the concept and there was a lot of potential there. I would try another book of hers.