Detransition, Baby

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters, a NYTimes Notable Book of the Year is not my usual pick but wow am I glad I read it. It took me a while to figure out what was was going on but once I did I fell in love with these women. The writing is smart but also painful, witty then devastating. So culturally of the moment but absolutely genuine. I loved it.

I loved this novel's forthrightness, especially about some less public aspects of trans women's lives. The story is about a love triangle of sorts: Ames, who was born as James, transitioned to become Amy, and then detransitioned to be become Ames, has an affair with his boss Katrina, a cis woman, and gets her pregnant because he thought he was sterile. As they are deciding what to do about the baby and their relationship, Ames proposes to bring in his ex, Reese, a trans woman who has always wanted a baby, to help raise their child. Not surprisingly, everyone's feelings and responses in this situation are complex. One of the best parts of this novel is the interplay between what each person thinks is truly beyond the pale and what they will accept as reasonable behavior, while trying to make a new kind of family.

The first part of the novel alternates between the present day and the past, presented as weeks or years pre or post conception. This way we learn about Reese and Ames/Amy's past, both individually and as a couple. The second part of the novel is in the present, where each person in the triangle is grappling with their expectations, fears, and desires.

There are a couple of places where the conversations that characters are having feel a little preachy, but the line between preachy and enlightening is thin. I definitely was enlightened by some of those conversations, so I don't want to give that too much weight. Mostly, I just enjoyed the robust voice of this book and the generosity of spirit that the characters are reaching for. This all sounds very serious, but there are moments of dry hilarity too. I will 100% read this author again.

In this case, my four-star rating doesn't actually mean I “really liked” this novel, more that three stars wouldn't have properly communicated how impactful I found it. It generated lots of discussion in my queer psychologist consultation group, in a good way! It is hard to find stories that honor the complexity of people's real lives when that complexity is highly politicized, and Peters deserves all the accolades for writing a novel that is a form of activism without trying to do that advocacy by presenting the world with “acceptable” trans* characters - perhaps her love letter to the trans* community as it actually can be is this novel's real activism. The issues this novel raises are pressing, compelling ones, and I am glad to have thought more deeply about them. My quibbles are the following: 1) Although it's a character, not plot-driven novel, the character development is uneven. I don't think I ever really understood how Ames managed his dysphoria in his relationship with Katrina, and we get so much information about Reese in the present, but much less about her “origin story” than the other characters. 2) The characters, regardless of gender identity, are all a little exhausting in their own ways. Of course a therapist is going to suggest therapy, but...I think they might benefit from therapy?? I'm more into escapism in my reading these days. One last upside, however, is I really like how Peters nailed the dismount by ending on a solidly ambiguous note. That's the kind of frustration I don't mind handling as a reader.