Docile

CW: dubcon/noncon, rape (sometimes written in the first person POV of the rapist), depression, suicide ideation and attempt, torture and punishments

Docile has been on my highly anticipated list of 2020 since the first time I saw its tag line “There's no consent under capitalism”. And all my excitement quadrupled when I got a chance to attend a panel by the author and also have some great interaction with him, during which he gave me a personalized ARC copy. This is my first ever physical ARC and one I know I'll cherish for a long long time. And when I finally decided to pick it up, i didn't even wanna put it down to go to sleep because it was such an engaging experience.

To be honest, I'm someone who prefers simple straightforward writing style, something I can follow easily and read quickly without having to parse the metaphorical meanings behind it all. And this book was exactly that. It was just so easy to read and I became so engrossed in it that I didn't even realize that the time was way past midnight. Obviously it helped that the story itself was extremely compelling, making me eager to know what was gonna happen next despite the fact that there were so many uncomfortable scenes to get through. This is also probably the first book I've read which takes place entirely in Maryland (where I live), so I just loved that fact. I also remember from the panel discussion I attended that the author is very insistent about creating queer normative worlds and it was lovely to see a gamut of sexualities as well as some great representation of polyamory.

It might be a bit of the book's marketing fault, but I was definitely expecting a much more realized world that what we actually got. This near future dystopia where everyday people literally have to sell themselves because they are being crushed by their enormous debt, while the 0.1% are trillionaires who exploit this debt system felt too close for comfort and was downright terrifying to contemplate. But we never really get a glimpse into how other states of the US or the rest of the world is dealing with the same issues. It almost felt like a local issue which in reality it is not. There were some necessary conversations about privilege and consent and power dynamics, but I think I was expecting so much more of such commentary. I don't wanna dismiss it as being superficial about the issues but it definitely could have gone a bit more in-depth, but after finishing the book I realized that it does work just the way it is for such a character driven story.

My heart goes out for Elisha. He decides to take on the huge debt of his family so that they may have a secure future, and in the process loses his agency and voice completely. Watching him transform from a slightly angry and defiant young man to a brainwashed version of himself who exists just to please Alex was heartbreaking to read. Equally painful was him trying to survive and unlearn and recover. To tell the truth, his journey of trying to find himself again after all the trauma he has been through was some of the most difficult part to read through but I only admired him more for it, and I think the author did a brilliant job with his characterization. In the author's own words, he really is a cinnamon roll of steel.

Alex on the other hand is a product of extreme privilege, who believes in the system created by his family and other wealthy people like them. He really thinks he is doing good and helping Elisha by taking him on as a Docile, and it's frankly this utter cluelessness of his that made me hate him a little less. The first half of the book, especially from his POV was extremely tough to read a lot of the times, but the author writes his character in such a compelling manner that even when you hate him, you wanna know what is going to happen to him next, and you keep some hope that maybe he will change.

It'll be disingenuous to call their relationship a romance because there is a massive power differential between them, with Alex hanging Elisha's family's entire financial future as a sword on his neck. But it's also undeniable that there's a connection between them and they deeply care for each other, but is it really love is a question that lingers in the back of our head all the time. The author does a great job examining and deconstructing their dynamic in the latter half of the book, and I really found it very interesting to read.

There are a lot of other side characters who play important characters and I appreciate the author for giving all of them such memorable and distinct personalities. I both hated and liked Dutch for his actions, but also understood some of his choices. His and Jess's friendship with Alex was actually quite fascinating to read about. Mariah on the other hand infuriated me, as well as Alex's super douchey father. On the other hand, I kinda understood the pain of Elisha's dad but still hated him for the way he mistreated Elisha. Dylan brought some fun banter to the proceedings even though it was few and far between, and her mom Nora was such a supportive mother figure. There were quite a few others as well but I don't wanna go on and on.

To conclude, I feel uncomfortable using the word enjoy for this book because of its themes but it was completely unputdownable. The author writes an engaging story with amazing characters and I can't wait to read more of his work. But I genuinely can't say who will enjoy this book. The only thematic comparison I can make is to the first book in the Captive Prince trilogy, so if you liked reading that book, you might like this one too. And if you do decide to pick it up, I think it's better going in knowing about the content warnings. It does make you think, especially about privilege and consent and I really appreciate the author for the way he ended the book. It's a terrifying dystopia but maybe there's still hope.