Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine

Loveddddd it!
I would love to read about eleanors life, no matter how “boring” it is, for hours and hours.
I liked the plot twist and I liked the plot but I just reaaaally liked Eleanor as a character and she kinda reminded me of Lou from Me Before You, a character I would also love to read about for hours!

So lovely. I wasn't sure I would like it at the start, but Eleanor won me over and I just wanted all the best for her. It made me think of things that happened during my own childhood, and though remembering them wasn't exactly lovely, it brought my connection to Eleanor closer – and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I wasn't alone. There was someone (even if fictional) who shared similar memories. We understood each other.

Spoilers alert!

I recently re-read Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, as I had recommended it to my book club and originally read it 2 years ago.

It was interesting everything I picked up on the re-read, having found out the big twist at the end. The “calls” from the mother are interesting, as you pick up that there's no text about the telephone being used, for example.

Good news - everyone in the book club loved it, and we had an interesting discussion about whether or not she would be considered to be on the spectrum (and apparently the author has said that she isn't).

One person brought up reactive attachment disorder, and this to me makes a great deal of sense as to what's going on with Eleanor. This is when infants don't securely bond to someone - and I can't imagine that infant Eleanor was able to bond with her mother.

One page that I googled about reactive attachment disorder in adults said this:
“Infants and young children with reactive attachment disorder face long-term risks that have consequences in their adulthood. Reactive attachment disorder in adults can mean poor adjustment in many areas of life. RAD also causes low self-esteem and sense of self-efficacy; the lack of support and attachment from birth results in adults who don't believe in themselves and their ability to live well. This is especially true for those who haven't received treatment for reactive attachment disorder.

Perhaps the biggest risk reactive attachment disorder has in adults is with relationships. The first attachment relationship is important in paving the way for future relationships. Without forming a bond with a caregiving adult, the person often has great difficulty forming and/or maintaining future social and intimate relationships.

Reactive attachment disorder in adults can also put someone at risk for other mental disorders. Anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, dissociative disorders, and personality disorders are commonly experienced by people with reactive attachment disorder or other attachment problems.”

Great book, have kleenex available, and enjoy meeting Eleanor!

I liked this so much! It was darker than I expected from reviews–and that's a good thing. Excellent debut novel. I also just read that the author wrote it while working a full-time job. Perhaps that how she captured office culture so accurately. I was genuinely concerned about Eleanor being able to come up with a good idea for the office holiday party...

I've got fairly mixed feelings about this. On one hand, there's a very potent message of coming to terms with grief, one I believe is generally handled well. There's a certain moment towards the end of the book that genuinely had my eyes a bit watery. But on the other hand, the way Eleanor is written didn't always work for me - there's a handful of things about her social ineptitude, etc, that felt a bit odd or served to make Eleanor seem more childlike than she should. I'm not opposed to the ideas, just think that the writing was a bit off at times. But otherwise, there's a lot I loved about this. Would recommend it overall.

I was thrown when I began reading this book, because I had read that it was a funny story. I didn't find it funny, and that felt like it kept interrupting me while I read, thinking “Why do people think this is funny”? Now that I've finished, I'm very glad I read it. The story of hope and redemption and the impact that we have on each other's lives is worth reading. We read this for book club, and there is a lot to unpack here and discuss.

This was lovely - a must-read for anyone who loved [b:A Man Called Ove 18774964 A Man Called Ove Fredrik Backman https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1405259930l/18774964.SY75.jpg 21619954]. I love a good “misfit finds a friend group” story, and this one is pitch-perfect. At first, Eleanor is funny and preposterous, but you quickly pick up on a deep pathos in her life that she herself is unaware of. But even when it made me cry, it had warmth and verve that sustained me. Honeyman has said she didn't want Eleanor's identity to be “victim,” and that's very well executed. The audio version was incredible, adding a lot to my reading. Cathleen McCarron weilds various Scots accents with aplomb, while giving Eleanor a distinctive voice and managing male characters with grace and ease.

Loved this book so much, its hard to describe :)) It's a bit slow at first, especially getting used to the protagonist (an odd woman who continually misses social cues but ironically blames it on others social incapacities) but its so worth pushing through those first few chapters! Enter some kind souls who sort of bear through her antics, get to know her a bit better and continue to care and support her when life goes south.

I wouldn't say this is a light read, Eleanor is who she is because she's suffered loss and both physical and psychological trauma in the past, which is slowly revealed to the reader. She continues to struggle through alcoholism, depression and isolation throughout the book, which she is only able to survive with the help of therapy and the support of a friend. In saying that, despite dealing with such heavy topics, the book still manages to transmit a positive message that restores ones faith in humanity and the strength of the human spirit.

Eleanor Oliphant started off well enough. It was funny, witty, and Eleanor is an interesting character. There was a little dark edge there in the form of the flashbacks/ “telephone calls” with Eleanor's mom. The humor was mostly coming from Eleanor's lack of social skills and misunderstanding of other people. Most of us take for granted the ability to navigate a social situation, even though they may be awkward we manage. Also, Eleanor's capacity for self-delusion as she pretends that it's the other people she interacts with, not her, that are foolish, rude, crazy, whatever. The second half of the book is where Honeyman lost me. Once the major catastrophe of the book occurs, Eleanor goes into therapy. This makes sense is completely believable, however these chapters of the book are dull and flat. Nothing new that the reader didn't already guess about her past is revealed. There is a huge tone shift, which I have no problem with as a rule. But if the second half shifts, it needs to be equal to the first half and it wasn't. Sure, I want Eleanor to be truly fine in the end but I still need to be engaged as a reader. Another aspect of the book that I was not too thrilled with is Eleanor's victimization. There were a lot of comparisons of this book to [b:A Man Called Ove 18774964 A Man Called Ove Fredrik Backman https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1405259930l/18774964.SY75.jpg 21619954] . The comparisons aren't Honeyman's fault but this draws attention to the fact that Eleanor's loneliness and off-putting behavior seems to be explained by an abusive mother AND a “boyfriend” she had that raped and abused her. Ove had tragedy in his life but there was no feeling that he was a victim that you should feel sorry for or need to protect. I hate to do this, but I admit I'm bringing this up because she's a woman. Making a female character a victim doesn't make her more interesting or likeable. We need to get past that notion. Eleanor's fear and loathing of dealing with people, her insecurity, could have had a more subtle cause.

I knew this book had been highly applauded since its release, I had picked it up in a charity shop haul and promptly put it on my bookcase and there it has lingered for some months now but after finishing an epic fantasy I felt the need for a little slice of real life and decided to delve into a book that I hoped very much lived up to the praise I'd heard.

The first thing that struck me about this book was the social inadequacies of our heroine, Eleanor Oliphant, a thirty-year-old single girl living in Glasgow who spends Monday to Friday at her mundane office job and then goes home at the weekend with two bottles of vodka and a Margherita pizza and speaks to and sees no one all weekend. This is described on the book jacket but inside the covers, we discover she finds making conversation with other people difficult, she spends her evenings reading books and listening to the radio. The one event that really highlighted for me how awkward was when she goes to a pub for a drink with a colleague and offers to buy the drinks then before he leaves asks him for the £3.50 for his pint of Guinness back.

There are points in the early pages of the book where Eleanor makes you cringe, so inept is she in the ways of social niceties. She's strange and a little aloof and unfalteringly honest about the things she sees around her, even when sharing her views may be unwelcome. As the pages go on however we begin to identify more familiar emotions, she's lonely, desperately lonely. She's been raised in the care system and with no understanding of affection or parental love. She's had nobody show her any interest and thus has been happy to blend into the background. Her only contact with her family is her weekly phone calls from her ‘mummy' who we learn is a complex and at times vile creature.

The beautiful story in Gail Honeyman's novel is a joy to read, Eleanor slowly forms a friendship with her co-worker Raymond when they see an old man collapse in the street and find themselves visiting him in the hospital together. The care and patience with which Raymond pulls Eleanor our of her shell and helps her to explore the world around her is beautiful and is one of the most heartwarming stories I've ever read. The way in which Eleanor begins to realise that her lonely existence may not be all the world has to offer her and that perhaps she can find people who could care about her is an absolute joy to read. It is heartbreaking when we delve beneath the veneer of Eleanor's world to her childhood and her experiences that led her to shut herself away from the world. We want to take her in our arms and shelter her and to make things okay for her.

This book was the Costa Award winner of 2017 for a debut novel and it is absolutely worthy of every plaudit and great review it has received. Touching, emotional and truly unforgettable Eleanor Oliphant is a heroine of our age, the Bridget Jones of the millennium she is funny and honest and strong and yet fragile and vulnerable. Gail Honeyman is an author whose debut has promised a bright future and I'm sure like many anxious readers I'm not alone in eagerly awaiting whatever she may release next.

Few lines into the book, I was racking my brains, as I absent mindedly read through a few more lines, trying to put a face to Elinor Oliphant, who seemed really familiar. And then all of a sudden she fell into place. This is Amy from the Big Bang Theory. Though I do not have vivid enough imagination to read a whole story with an image of a character in my head, at certain moments her face pops in; it fits just right.

I am pretty sure, the number of high ratings this book has a direct correlation to readers who can relate.

“If someone asks you how you are, you are meant to say FINE. You are not meant to say that you cried yourself to sleep last night because you hadn't spoken to another person for two consecutive days. FINE is what you say.”

Loneliness has certainly had its share of portrayal in many books. This is the first one I read where it takes the center stage. Every moment I am struggling, to not make this review personal. Precisely because there isn't a ‘Loners' club', none of the loners know what their kindred feel. This is a brave attempt(given how completely Eleanor disregards the conventions of polite society, thereby creating a character slightly leaning over to the area of ‘unlikability') to unite the loners at some level, to remind that we are not alone in being lonely.

Eleanor holds one her hands in the other to feel how it feels when someone holds your hand. Eleanor realizes that there is no Eleanor shaped slot in the society for her to fit in. Standing alone staring into the middle distance, is a ‘familiar social scenario' for Eleanor. It was ‘absolutely fine'. And she means it.

The whole thing is all too familiar. I feel too close to this that I can't analytically review. I can see only what I want to see, and there's plenty for me to look at here. There are metaphors and word plays, it's all very nice. That said, it's not a sob story. Eleanor is funny, rudely pragmatic often upto a point of hilarity and a woman of her mind, who finds her way in the world, with little acts of kindness from people surrounding.

Raymond, like a ray of sunshine, tenderly opens the shy and obscure little bud into
a beautiful flower, confident and proud.
(Okay maybe that was a little over the top.)

If you feel lonely too often, read it.