Fifty Shades of Grey

Oh dear. Okay.Let me preface this review by stating that I went into it with low expectations. Perhaps that is why my frustrations exist so strongly, but it was nigh impossible to avoid the discussion and the excerpts that flooded the internet upon its release. I read them, I discussed them, and when I obtained a copy of [b:Fifty Shades of Grey 10818853 Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1) E.L. James https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1385207843s/10818853.jpg 15732562]. I took a deep breath and dived in. The Good:As we all know, this novel originated as Twilight fanfiction. As its written, it can certainly stand alone. The concept is great and, barring what I will soon discuss, the character development has promise. I was appreciative that there weren't info dumps, and that information (mainly about Grey) was slowly revealed. Relationships and the world had depth. (I'm trying, guys.)The Bad:This novel originated as Twilight fanfiction. Throughout the 75% I progressed through, I briefly saw who were which characters (Jos?? = Jacob, Mia = Alice). The writing also reads like fanfiction gone published. This is glaringly evident within the first chapter of [b:Fifty Shades of Grey 10818853 Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1) E.L. James https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1385207843s/10818853.jpg 15732562].The character parallels brings me to Jos?? Rodriguez. I had an issue with how he was handled. Towards the middle of this novel, he and Ana are drunk. He starts pushing himself onto Ana, and then our dear savior Christian Grey swoops in to save the girl. Okay. Whatever. However, Jose is illustrated as Hispanic, and James even goes so far to point this out by his usage of token expressions such as ???Dios Mio!???. It bothered me how the only other minority in this book was the one who attempted to assault Ana. As fantastic as Christian Grey may be as a lover, Ana's constant vaginal orgasms (with only two mentions of her clitoris in what I read.) were wholly unrealistic. In reality, 25% of women have orgasms during intercourse. That isn't counting the disrepancy between vaginal and clitoral ??? that's overall. Not only is Ana a magical unicorn that possesses the physical ability to come from penetration alone, but so can her roommate, Kate! I know that women like this exist, but for the rest of us who physically cannot, its frustrating to read a novel that sold faster than Harry Potter further portray women in an unrealistic sexual light. Women need clitorial stimulation, and there are people out there who don't even know the clitoris exists. The sex scenes, after the first initial ones, began to drag. For the most part, they consisted of the same verbage, and towards the end of the book I started skimming them. Ana's constant physical reactions to everything Christian did - ???My breath hitched.??? ???I flushed and held my breath.??? ???I gasped.??? ???My breath stuttered.??? It is honestly a miracle to me how she was alive at the end of this book. Every time Christian had to remind her to breathe, I cringed. Which brings me to...The Ugly:Anastasia Steele. Innocent, virginal, shy, sarcastic Ana, flying too close to the Sun like Icarus. James portrayal of her naively and innocent nature is excellent. However, what puzzled me the entire time ??? Why Ana? Why is she an exception to Grey's every single rule? What about her categorizes her from previous subs he's been with? Was it the balance between her submissive and defiant traits? How she came out with a few witty one-liners? What was it? Ana was wholly flat and one-dimensional, possessing unicorn-like traits and zero flaws. (BTW skinniness is not a flaw.)The Annoying:If I hear ???THERE??? or ???foil packet??? or ???oh... jeez??? or ???groaned??? or ???Mr. Grey??? or ???Ms. Steele??? one more goddamn time I will hurl something. Would I recommend this book to someone else? No. Do I condemn those who do read it? No. One should never feel guilty about guilty pleasures, and that is what this trilogy encompasses. I feel that, with a bit more character building (especially with Ana) and a couple more rounds with editors, that this book (and the others following) would have been receieved far better.This is, however, not my type of guilty pleasure, and as such I won't be completing nor moving on to [b:Fifty Shades Darker 11857408 Fifty Shades Darker (Fifty Shades, #2) E.L. James https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1358266080s/11857408.jpg 16813814] and [b:Fifty Shades Freed 12881778 Fifty Shades Freed (Fifty Shades, #3) E.L. James https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1320316311s/12881778.jpg 18034963]. YMMV