Fifty Shades of Grey

I didn't intend to read this book, as I'd largely heard snark about it. A dear friend recommended it, though, so I finally gave it a read.

The writing definitely needs polish and a good editor–I couldn't possibly give it more than 3 stars due to that alone. The sexy is there, though, and that's the whole purpose of the book. It does follow most of the traditional romance tropes, which explains most of its acceptance, but the addition of spicier sex seems to be what has everyone talking. (I'd call it spicy more than truly kinky.)

The entire plot takes place in just three weeks, which isn't bad in the romance world. That doesn't leave much time for character growth, but there is a little. That brings the book up a star from where I'd put most romance novels.

If you want some light, sexy summer reading and don't mind the fact that this is so very obviously a self-published first novel, go for it. Some people will want to read it just because of all the uproar, I imagine. If you're looking for literature or true erotica, pass this one up.

I had refused to read this book for the longest time but finally caved after being dragged to the movie. I have to say that this is one time that the movie is better than the book, partly because in the movie you don't have to listen to Ana's thoughts. I would have given a better rating if it wasn't for the horrible writing and the undeniable similarities to Twilight.

Took me some time to get into it. BDSM is not really my kind of thing and it was one of the reasons I was apprehensive reading this book, but wanted to see what the hype was all about. In truth the BDSM aspect in this first book is very light.
The writing is not great. Read fanfiction that had a better writing style, but still enjoyable. Will definitely read the other parts because what I'm mostly curious about is to learn more about Christian and what made him the man he is and of course to see how it will end between Ana and Christian.

There is literally nothing appealing about this book. The characters are flat, immature, and melodramatic; the prose is choppy and badly edited; and the sex is mechanical and full of porn star dialogue. More than that, Christian and Ana's dynamic squicked me out beyond recognition. This is not because I'm disgusted by TPE or opposed to BDSM in general - I've read books with a similar theme that were wonderful - but because of Ana's almost absurd naivete, Christian's frankly abusive behavior, and how both of these things were presented as totally okay! And totally loving! Despite how he stalked her, browbeat her, and ignored her attempts at honest conversation in favor of manipulating her to suit his wishes. Creepy as hell.

I actually thought there were some interesting things in this book. AFAIK, people dislike it for a multitude of reasons, but the primary one is that they don't see it as a valid BDSM relationship given Ana's reticence. I think that's an accurate portrayal of the start of someone's BDSM experience, and thought it was interestingly deep (even if unintentional) to watch Ana process her feelings around submission and dominance.

Otherwise: basically just super-trite smut. I will finish the series because I'm a completionist and they're such easy reads.

I have a painful gut reaction to many sitcoms. I can feel when a bad setup is coming, when someone is doing something stupid and from that something supposedly funny will come. Except, I don't find it funny. And it makes my gut hurt.

That's how I felt from the first page of 50 Shades. My gut hurt from how stupid the characters were acting and how stupid everything was going to follow from their actions.

There is something about fan fiction that is palpable. And the stench of it is painfully obvious here. Anastsia is supposedly clumsy (like Bella) but then she's dancing and cooking in one scene early on. Gyrating with knives is not exactly the behavior of a clutz. (Seriously, experience speaking here.) Grey is a cold-blooded controlling stalker, just like the Twilight “hero.” Ugh.

I mean, I really enjoy retellings of old fairy tales. I enjoy the story when Marvel reboots their universe (as they do every few years.) But this re-imagination of Twilight does a piss poor job of it. It takes out the possibility of magic that the supernatural characters permit. It makes the innocent heroine utterly ridiculous by ramping her age up to 21, while having her act like a tweenager. And then Grey has such a sick and sad back story that it just makes his entire rational pathetic. He's no hero, he's no Romeo, he's just a sick and twisted man who passes his abuse on to others. Hence his great attration to the virginal Anastasia.

As for the sex, let's just say that erotica isn't my cup of tea. I've read enough to know. And what I've read was much better than this. MUCH! The scenes are neither well-written, nor well-imagined. Blah.

Finally, I never ever ever ever ever want to hear about your inner goddess. This book RUINED the entire concept for me. If she's talking to you or dancing at you or what-not... keep it to yourself. And stay the fuck away from me. Even if I had liked something else about the book, this particular detail would have made me hate the book.

Oh dear. Okay.Let me preface this review by stating that I went into it with low expectations. Perhaps that is why my frustrations exist so strongly, but it was nigh impossible to avoid the discussion and the excerpts that flooded the internet upon its release. I read them, I discussed them, and when I obtained a copy of [b:Fifty Shades of Grey 10818853 Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1) E.L. James https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1385207843s/10818853.jpg 15732562]. I took a deep breath and dived in. The Good:As we all know, this novel originated as Twilight fanfiction. As its written, it can certainly stand alone. The concept is great and, barring what I will soon discuss, the character development has promise. I was appreciative that there weren't info dumps, and that information (mainly about Grey) was slowly revealed. Relationships and the world had depth. (I'm trying, guys.)The Bad:This novel originated as Twilight fanfiction. Throughout the 75% I progressed through, I briefly saw who were which characters (Jos?? = Jacob, Mia = Alice). The writing also reads like fanfiction gone published. This is glaringly evident within the first chapter of [b:Fifty Shades of Grey 10818853 Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1) E.L. James https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1385207843s/10818853.jpg 15732562].The character parallels brings me to Jos?? Rodriguez. I had an issue with how he was handled. Towards the middle of this novel, he and Ana are drunk. He starts pushing himself onto Ana, and then our dear savior Christian Grey swoops in to save the girl. Okay. Whatever. However, Jose is illustrated as Hispanic, and James even goes so far to point this out by his usage of token expressions such as ???Dios Mio!???. It bothered me how the only other minority in this book was the one who attempted to assault Ana. As fantastic as Christian Grey may be as a lover, Ana's constant vaginal orgasms (with only two mentions of her clitoris in what I read.) were wholly unrealistic. In reality, 25% of women have orgasms during intercourse. That isn't counting the disrepancy between vaginal and clitoral ??? that's overall. Not only is Ana a magical unicorn that possesses the physical ability to come from penetration alone, but so can her roommate, Kate! I know that women like this exist, but for the rest of us who physically cannot, its frustrating to read a novel that sold faster than Harry Potter further portray women in an unrealistic sexual light. Women need clitorial stimulation, and there are people out there who don't even know the clitoris exists. The sex scenes, after the first initial ones, began to drag. For the most part, they consisted of the same verbage, and towards the end of the book I started skimming them. Ana's constant physical reactions to everything Christian did - ???My breath hitched.??? ???I flushed and held my breath.??? ???I gasped.??? ???My breath stuttered.??? It is honestly a miracle to me how she was alive at the end of this book. Every time Christian had to remind her to breathe, I cringed. Which brings me to...The Ugly:Anastasia Steele. Innocent, virginal, shy, sarcastic Ana, flying too close to the Sun like Icarus. James portrayal of her naively and innocent nature is excellent. However, what puzzled me the entire time ??? Why Ana? Why is she an exception to Grey's every single rule? What about her categorizes her from previous subs he's been with? Was it the balance between her submissive and defiant traits? How she came out with a few witty one-liners? What was it? Ana was wholly flat and one-dimensional, possessing unicorn-like traits and zero flaws. (BTW skinniness is not a flaw.)The Annoying:If I hear ???THERE??? or ???foil packet??? or ???oh... jeez??? or ???groaned??? or ???Mr. Grey??? or ???Ms. Steele??? one more goddamn time I will hurl something. Would I recommend this book to someone else? No. Do I condemn those who do read it? No. One should never feel guilty about guilty pleasures, and that is what this trilogy encompasses. I feel that, with a bit more character building (especially with Ana) and a couple more rounds with editors, that this book (and the others following) would have been receieved far better.This is, however, not my type of guilty pleasure, and as such I won't be completing nor moving on to [b:Fifty Shades Darker 11857408 Fifty Shades Darker (Fifty Shades, #2) E.L. James https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1358266080s/11857408.jpg 16813814] and [b:Fifty Shades Freed 12881778 Fifty Shades Freed (Fifty Shades, #3) E.L. James https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1320316311s/12881778.jpg 18034963]. YMMV