Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

Wow. What an interesting, fun and yet devastating look into Matthew's life and the endless cycle of addiction.

The book started relatively light, despite discussing his abandonment and the initial factor leading to his addiction. As it progressed, I enjoyed peeking into Matthew's life and what actors go through, particularly in their teens. I kept internally screaming at his parents to take better care of him!

As the narrative goes into his numerous love experiences and straight-up fuckups, I found myself continuously rooting for him. However, I also started noticing the book feeling very repetitive. It seemed like he kept saying the same thing: there was a love opportunity, he screwed up, he relapsed and back to rehab... dozens of times. But isn't that just the perfect way to get us to experience on a much smaller scale the frustratingly repetitive process he went through? It's heartbreaking learning how lonely and out of control he felt. It's crazy to think of Chandler Bing and know that in between takes or episodes, he was in rehab, crying or struggling to keep it together.

Reading this now, knowing of his death, made the ending all the more poignant. The hopeful tone with which he concluded the book was heart-wrenching, particularly when he talks about how much he still has left to do