Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

He seemed to be trying to find reasons/excuses for his struggle in circumstances, very matter of factly, almost self-pitying.

Today is April 24, 2023 and I just found out that Matthew Perry is removing comments he made about Keanu Reeves from future editions of his memoir. I'm so thankful about this as I found them disturbing.

I couldn't bring myself to rate or review this incredibly intriguing book that I compulsively listened to. I couldn't (and obviously still can't) quite figure out my exact feelings about it, so I felt it was best to refrain from saying anything.

I do vividly remember one of the things that really stood out was his focus on how he missed out on having a wife and kids/family. It seemed that by the end of his book he still didn't quite understand that it is never about having a certain kind of life on the outside. Having a wife and children was not a guarantee he'd find happiness/fulfillment—something that has eluded him for most of his life.

My heart aches for all he endured and I hope he is able to cultivate a deep love for himself in this lifetime.

I desperately wanted to give this more stars. Because the honesty, the content of Perry's story, it really deserves all the stars.

I love Friends so much. I used to watch the re-runs on Netflix every day, until they switched over to HBO Max and I couldn't justify paying for another streaming service just for the convenience, when I own all the DVDs.

And I knew that Perry had had addiction problems prior to this book - I mean, you can see it in the way he carries weight on that show. I just didn't know how bad it really was, the volume of pills and alcohol, how it dogged him every day, how he loved his job and did his best to show up on time and sober, but he was on a hit TV show and going to rehab and trying to stay clean and failing most of the time.

I listened to the audiobook, which I always try to do with celebrity memoirs, and I think this made it a harder listen. I can't know if he was sober the whole time he narrated - he claims that he's clean at the end, but sometimes his voice slurs in a way it never did on Friends. It broke my heart a little bit. I still love the show, though I don't know that I'll be able to see it the same way after knowing the darkness Chandler hid with his sarcasm and jokes. The same ones Perry uses as a defense mechanism.

So halfway through the audio, I was all set to call this a 5 star, despite its imperfections. I don't mind jumps in timeline, as long as I can keep track of when things are happening. And I thought I was doing okay with it, like when a friend tells you a story and digresses and then comes back to the main narrative, but then I lost track; he'd been high or drunk for most of the narrative, and had talked about several different rehab stays, but then jumped back to one of the early stints, and I got lost in the timeline and never quite got back on track. And then the closer I got to the end, he started repeating himself over and over, about the people who saved his life, his experiences of God, there having to be more meaning than this, about this being the time he has to make a change for good or he will die, and he's afraid of dying.

I very much appreciated the glimpse into both Perry's life and addiction in general. I don't want to misplace my optimism, but I pray he's able to stay clean - it's pretty clear he's not going to survive much longer if he doesn't.

5 stars for the story, 3 stars for the actual writing

Not usually one for celebrity's memoirs, but found the free audiobook on YouTube after rewatching Friends and got curious. It could have done with a lot of editing, as there are a lot of flashbacks and flashforwards which I found confusing and repetitive. However, I found this gut wrenching story able to create empathy towards people that suffers from addictions.