Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis

This book has forever changed the way I see lower-class, white culture. There's no way to read it without empathy for the kind of life experiences that J.D Vance and his family have gone through - the traumatic childhood events that would shape his expectations for adult relationships. But Vance doesn't want us to think that it's a “cycle of violence” or a forgone conclusion. He believes low expectations and a learned hopelessness are also causes, and pouring outside help in the form of things such increased money for public schools won't help kids who don't have a room in their house where they can't hear screaming and fighting. He believes it has to be an internal change within the community, and attributes the changes in his own life to the love of his Mamaw and Papaw, and the examples of a few family members in positive relationships.

One aspect that I wish Vance would have touched on more is the harmfulness of an “honor” culture, where “yo mama” jokes actually start huge fights, and getting threatened with a shotgun is a real possibility. Besides the amount of time wasted in defending honor, it removes control in one's life. (At any moment, someone could insult you, and then you'd be obligated to beat the crap out of them.) Vance mentions his new spouse helping him learn not to get of out of a car to confront the guy that cut him off, but it still seems like this is uncharted territory for him, and could perhaps deserve a closer look.