I Want to Eat Your Pancreas

Okay, this is the third time I've “experienced” this story. I saw the film, I read the manga and now this (apparently there's a live action version, so I guess that's next?) This is, hands down, the best version of I Want to Eat Your Pancreas yet. In the movie I was distracted by awkward animation, the manga is limited by its medium and kind of generic artstyle, the light novel, however, is able to explore the characters inner monologues and make them feel more fleshed out. This is a very character-heavy, dialogue/thought-heavy story so I guess it's obvious that it would work best as a novel. However, I wasn't expecting much because light novels are usually written pretty poorly, as if they were scripts for anime. This felt like legitimate YA lit and could definitely stand on its own.

All three versions of the story had me choked up by the end (I had to stop myself from crying on the train) but it was only in this one that I really appreciated the relationship between “name would be a spoiler”-kun and Sakura. I really feel like this is an amazing introvert-extrovert relationship and both characters are so realistically realized. Protagonist-kun reminds me of me and Sakura reminds me of my sister or my mom. At first the novel tricks you into think it's going to be a “fix it” plot for our introverted hero but then it reveals that Sakura is jealous of what makes him special just as much as Protagonist-kun is jealous of Sakura. Sakura's explanation of being unable to define herself outside of her relationships with other people and being impressed that Protagonist-kun is able to do so felt really profound. I feel like she didn't turn the hero into an extrovert but just taught him to open himself up to other people and realize he had the power to shape his own world. Equally, he taught her how to be alone and to love herself. Ahhh...it's just a really beautiful story.

5/5 stars

I was expecting her to die but not in the way she did. I really wish she had been able to do more before it happened. Even if you're prepared for her death, it still hits hard when it happens. Compared to the main character she had a really strong personality that left a big impression. Then again what else can you do when you know you have little time left to live.

(I'll probably have to edit this later)