I Wish You All the Best

4.5 Stars

Initial Thoughts: I devoured this book in one sitting. I loved reading about Ben and their story. It was such a refreshing read. I also loved the whole cast of characters around Ben, especially Nathan. He was such a champion for Ben even before they were out. I really think this is an important book for everyone regardless of how they identify.

This was a captivating and important read. I am so excited that a YA romance centered on a non-binary character exists. The gender exploration in this story was wonderfully handled. I found story hard to put down and read it in two days because I just wanted to know how things would go. It was lovely.
The exploration of mental health was also really well done. The depression was effective to the point that I could feel the weight of it. The one major problem is in the depiction of the therapist. There are several problematic aspects to how therapy is depicted in this book. First, while we get to see several therapy session on the page, there was a lack of understanding of how therapy should go. If a real therapist started without doing informed consent, only bringing it up when they had to, they would (or at least should) lose their license. There were also times when the therapy techniques were presented in harmful ways. These stood out to me as a therapist in training. However, I do appreciate the effort made her to de-stigmatize therapy.

Overall with the minor problems above, this story is infinitely readable and important. I loved it.

Underneath this smooth and handsome exterior lies the soul of an isolated poet.

I pretty much disliked the writing and the characters, too bad for the representation. I couldn't feel anything other than annoyance and then relief when it was over. I kept hoping it would turn around until the very end but it didn't deliver. The writing style was very dry and I was taken aback by how much I disliked Ben. They were in such a negative headspace that I couldn't read this for long stretches of time. I can understand there are people like this, so self-loathing, so helpless but I just can't deal with it, especially when there's almost no growth.

They were stuck in a mood and a state of passive-aggression and kept fighting off anyone that tried to help. They were a bad sibling and friend. There is a point when you are hurting that if you choose to continuously obsess about it and avoid dealing with it at the same time, you become a jerk to everyone you know. You when people use “millennial” as a derogatory term to describe continuously self-absorbed people who feel entitled to everything all the time? That's how I felt about Ben.

“What about my person?”“Your person.” I like the way the words sound. On his lips and to my ears.“My Ben.” Nathan leans in, kissing the top of my hand, and all at once my heart feels so full.

Putting this quote because the euphoria it gives me as a nonbinary person is through the roof. It's as if my heart is full as well just from reading this quote.

This book had to get five stars from me purely because it holds a very special place in my heart. It's been a least a year since I've read it now and it's still one of the books that I will happily go back and reread and still feel the same happiness.

I have experienced so much transphobia in my life, including from family members who I believed would love and accept me so reading Ben's journey and the people around them accepting them is very special and important to me.

The characters, the plot... so very beautiful down to every detail and every last page.

I don't know if the author of this novel is in the habit of reading reviews on their books, but if they do, don't read this one. I think it's wonderful they wrote a novel about a nonbinary person, there should be more books where a nonbinary person is the main character, but this novel sucks. And I just found out there's a sequel... No, thank you.

Let's start with the parts I did like. I love the cover, it's very pretty. The art is by Sarah Maxwell who I am quite glad to have discovered, because look at all that lovely art! And okay, this is not actually about the novel, so what I did like about the novel is the fact that the main character is a nonbinary person. This is the first novel I read featuring someone nonbinary, but unfortunately this is not the best novel out there.

First of all, the writing style pulled me out of the story every few paragraphs. Thanks to this novel I realised it's not the 1st person storytelling I have an issue with, it's just that 1st person is more often written badly. There were a few instances when Ben assumed why someone else acted the way they did instead of letting the character's actions speak to themselves and so manipulating the reader's perception. I did not like that.

The present tense did not work at all here, it felt so weird and unnatural. I had trouble differentiating between Ben's outer and inner voice, I had to go back and check where the quotation marks closed at some point because there was literally no difference. I ended up not knowing what Ben actually said and what they didn't for most of the novel.

The other characters have no personality. If I were to read a line said by any of the characters I wouldn't know who's speaking. Except if it's Mariam texting, because they exaggerate punctuation, but that's about it, the voice is the same for everyone. And if I would have had to read one more 'or anything' I would have fought someone. I almost wish I would have counted every instance someone said it, it popped up what felt like every other page.

I liked the first three chapters or so. Ben's coming out and everything that followed was very intense and for those three chapters the author did a good job at showing what Ben felt. I felt sympathy for Ben, but then all the rest happened and I started to really, really, really dislike Ben to the point where I skimmed through the last three chapters because I couldn't stand them.

Ben is victimising themselves. They are selfish, everyone has to make up to them, every character exists in this novel to either praise Ben or to pity them and it was infuriating. For example, Ben has a talent for painting. Okay, that's valid, but they mentioned they didn't paint much before transferring to the new school, and yet, no one had any piece of advice for them. Everything they made was amazing and stunning and wow and quit your bs already! They never gave me the impression of being a prodigy, there was nothing exceptional to their art, they were simply talented. I'm sure they still have a lot to learn because no matter how talented you are there is always room for improvement especially when you only did something a couple of times before. Ben obviously didn't have all the knowledge about painting, but they are the main character so, ya know, everyone venerates every single thing they do. The only person who ever had something bad to say about the art was Ben themselves and when that happened, some other character would jump on their pity party to praise the art and tell them how amazingly talented they are.

Hannah, let's talk a bit about Hannah. She is there for Ben, trying her best to help them, sometimes she's a little pushy with all the questions, but she's doing her best, can't fault her. She's learning as she goes. Yet Ben didn't bother in a five month period to ask her what she's doing for a living, how is she affording to take care of them, what she has been up to in the whole ten years since they last spoke. Ben didn't show any kind of interest for their sister, all they did was blame Hannah for everything they went through (because, again, Ben is the main character, Ben is perfect and the world sucks, not them, never them). Didn't take one second to think about what Hannah went through. Selfish much? Yep. I was more curious than Ben was about what happened when Hannah left. What was truly infuriating was when Dr. Taylor (another member of Ben's pity party committee and a really bad therapist) blamed Hannah too. That whole scene was so cringy. Let's get this straight: Hannah was barely an adult when she left, she cut off all contact with her parents for ten years and she was not responsible for Ben. She is their sister, not their carer, not their guardian, not their mother. Whatever happened to drive Hannah out of her family house concerns her and her alone and she has no obligation to offer an explanation to anyone or to feel sorry for wishing something better for herself. Yes, Ben's parents suck, they are horrible people, but Hannah could have not taken Ben with her and is not responsible for her parents' actions.

I am not happy about how things were left with Hannah, it was not fair on her, she didn't deserve to be blamed, she didn't deserve Ben to be angry with her. What she did deserve was to be listened at the very least, and for her point of view to be taken into account. To every story there is (or should be) more than one angle, but here there's nothing but Ben's feelings and opinions. And this is not something only concerning Hannah, every single character in this novel has no history, has no unique qualities. They are there just for Ben's sake.

So no, I did not enjoy this novel. It actually pissed me off. The author said this is a book they needed when they were fifteen and that sounds about right. What I'm getting from this novel is some kid's fantasy, a kid's wet dream about how the world finally sees how great they are and everything falls into place and everyone adores them. It's not a wrong fantasy, we all were fifteen once, but, please, next time keep it to yourself. I wanted this book to be good, but it's not. I disliked the insecurity of the writing and I hoped there would be at least some character development for Ben, but I didn't even get that.

I was so excited about this book. Books with non-binary characters are not something that is often published or popularized and it is so important for those identities to be represented. This book had great rep overall and I loved reading from a NB person's perspective. I know this story is close to Mason's heart and I appreciate that a lot.
But the characters fell so flat to me - I feel like I barely knew them. Pretty much the only thing I know about Ben, our MC, is that they are non-binary and like to draw. All I know about Nathan is that he is super positive and on the student council. Ben & Hannah's parents are super shitty, but why? We see such small moments with them and get little to no background - we know they kicked Ben out and made Hannah want to leave but that's about it. Overall, I just wanted more from this and the characters!

A leitura desse livro foi uma experiência meio desesperadora. Eu usei ele como fuga num momento que eu tava bem mal, e queria acompanhar algum personagem que não estivesse bem também. Meu livro favorito do Mason Deaver ainda é The Ghosts We Keep, por conta da maneira como ele conduziu uma história sem ter um romance foi incrível, mas esse não fica muito longe. Ben, Nathan, Hannah e Thomas são incríveis e eu amei cada um deles.

A jornada de Ben Partiu meu coração, e isso é porque elu é muito preciose e elu de fato merece as coisas mais belas!