Loving-Kindness in Plain English

In this book Bhante G explains what Metta is. Translated by the author it comes down to loving kindness. When we talk about “normal” love, we usually mean that we like or love something with conditions. As what we love would change, our love also changes or disappears. An example: “I love you if you love me,” or “I love you if you behave the way I want.” As a conclusion of what metta is, we arrive at a love that knows no boundaries.

We should of course feel the feeling of metta for ourselves, but also for all other people and beings. Even our enemies are worth our metta. This may sound like an impossible task to perform, but if our enemies were happy, healthy and calm, there would be no reason to be enemies. The fact is that everyone is bothered by stress, pain, suffering, neuroses, psychoses, paranoia, anxiety, tension, panic, or nervousness, which can cause their behavior to collide with ours. Or of course ours with theirs.

The saying “practice makes perfect” also applies to metta. The loving kindness that you practice becomes stronger the more you practice and use it. Furthermore, we are not dependent on the outside world for metta. We do not practice saving the world or making the world perfect. We practice it primarily for ourselves, for our own well-being (this has been scientifically researched and found to be effective). This will then have an effect on the environment in which you find yourself.

Imagine trying to fulfill your desire for a certain object. When you realize that the core of the feeling is in you and not in the object, you will see that our desire is the problem and not the object outside of ourselves. So here we have the opportunity to practice. It is therefore very important to be aware (mindful) of your own emotions and behavior so that you can clearly see whether you suffer from jealousy, hatred or illusions (misunderstanding). According to the Buddha, these are the three poisons that we have to deal with during our lifetime and that cause us so much suffering and discomfort.

The Buddha said that a hatchet comes to life in the mouth of a person at birth. The things we say can have a huge impact on other people. You can see for yourself being mindful during the day how often we say mean or hurtful things. This would be a wonderful place to start our metta practice.

Do yourself a big favor, read and live this book to the best that you can!