How Neuroscience Is Rewriting the Story of Parenthood
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Before Chelsea Conaboy gave birth to her first child, she anticipated the joy of holding her newborn son, the endless dirty nappies and the sleepless nights. What she didn't expect was how different she would feel. It wasn't simply the extraordinary demands of this new role, but a shift in self - as deep as it was disorienting. In truth, something was changing: her brain. New parents undergo major brain changes, driven by hormones and the deluge of stimuli a baby provides. These neurobiological changes help all parents - birthing or otherwise - adapt in those intense first days and prepare for a long period of learning how to meet their child's needs. Yet this science is mostly absent from the public conversation about parenthood. Conaboy delves into the neuroscience to reveal unexpected upsides, generations of scientific neglect and a powerful new narrative of parenthood.
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” ‘ maternal behavior' is, in fact, a basic human characteristic, not uniquely maternal after all” (Ch. 1)
“New parenthood is a developmental stage that takes time.” Ch. 1
I started skim-reading this partway through. Then stopped altogether. The premise was fascinating, but more research on this topic needs to be done. The studies the author cited were often inconclusive, too small, not published or peer-reviewed. I grew weary after many pages spent simply summarizing such studies. I agree from personal experience that caregiving changes the brain, and that parenting is a developmental stage that takes time to unfold. I wish I had known these things earlier, and that more research and knowledge were available to help new parents, but it seems this awareness is just unfolding. I hope for tomorrow's parents it will become more established, but this book is not quite the means to do it.
I also grow so weary of books that explain everything about human behavior in terms of natural selection. It's like explaining someone's journey from New York to San Francisco by describing how a train operates. It addresses the HOW but not the WHY. Without a spiritual element, the study of neurology becomes a deadening exercise in mechanization. And that particularly does not belong in any discussion of human relationships. We are more than brains walking around in bodies, and it's exactly our relationships of care that can open us to understanding that. So I'll be thrilled when a book appears that can put those pieces together.