My Year of Rest and Relaxation

I found myself thinking about this book weeks after reading it for it to actually sit with me. 

I kind of figured out why I am less sympathetic about this character than anyone in her situation and I realize maybe that was the point. Yes, she is unlikeable. But I found a lot of things she says I kind of agree with but would probably not say out loud myself. Because people would think I'm an asshole.

Right off the bat, I would have already guessed the narrator has depression. It seems obvious. But the way the book is written, you find very little reason to sympathize with her because she has all this privilege. She's a beautiful, wealthy white woman. It would seem like there is very little for her to be depressed about. Sure, her parents died but she admits herself that she never really had a loving relationship with them. She quit her job, but she admits she has been long disillusioned with the industry she works in. It seems to me that even the narrator herself is unable to admit to herself that she is miserable and she's incredibly self aware of her own privilege and perhaps that's why she couldn't admit to herself her own problems. She does a lot of this deflection throughout the book. And so her year of rest and relaxation was another way for her to divert herself from her problems. Because she has no way of facing them if she doesn't acknowledge them.

Being unable to admit to yourself or anyone that you are going through a depression is hard enough without people reminding you of what you should be grateful for. And especially with the time period this was set on, it must have been so isolating to feel like you're the only miser in the room. 

The ending was less about her character development or her year of rest and relaxation actually working for her. It was more like she woke up to a new world where it wouldn't be so out of place to feel morose or depressed a little. The bubble has popped for much of the people around her.

Sometimes, it takes a lot of effort for us to admit how miserable we actually feel.