No More Christian Nice Guy
No More Christian Nice Guy
When Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts Men, Women, and Children
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This book is like a slap in the face followed by a cold drink of water. I believe Coughlin intentionally starts off with some strong language to slap the nice guy in the face. I interpret this to be a bit of a test to see if the reader wants to recover from the nice guy syndrome. Those who are can't see past being nice simply won't continue to find the treasure this book offers.
Coughlin's writing style matches his message. It is straight up what he believes to be true. Better than that, he provides solid reasoning for the message.
This is the second time I've read this book, separated by some years. I picked it up again because I needed to hear the message again. Being nice is not being good. Being nice is often being dishonest with one's self and with others. Coughlin illustrates various ways Christian men play “nice”. There are parts of this book that still hurt to read. There are sections where I cry because someone understands what I don't want to tell anyone else and the reading feels like locks being opened in my soul. Choosing to take on the good life and to leave the nice life behind is hard because of the history that doesn't want to let go of me. The fear of what others will think and how they will react to my new choices.
I debated on whether to give this book a four star or a five star rating. Ideally, I would give it 4.5. Like many others, this book is only as valuable as one is willing to listen to what Coughlin has to say and give it a chance. As for me, I agree that it is better to make a difference for good in the world around me than to simply have the world around me think well of me while I fear I wi be found out for who I really am.