Onside Kiss
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When my best friend gets a scholarship to play football across the country, following him seems like a great idea — until we move onto a cul-de-sac full of the nosiest assholes I’ve ever met, anyway. I love my friends, but they seem convinced Nate and I are too close.
So close that we have to be in love with each other.
In an attempt to prove them wrong, we agree to go on ten dates together before Christmas. Ten real dates including all of the things that real couples do. But what we’re not expecting is what happens when we break down the only walls we’ve ever had between us, or the ways it will change us.
We’re either going to come out of this in love and happier than we’ve ever been… or it’ll ruin the best friendship either of us have ever known.
No pressure, right?
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Have you ever read a book where everything about it just annoys you?
These two aren't even oblivious. They're both actively into each other but they just don't act on it because ~reasons🥰~
I mean, there's pretense around it. But they sleep together, cuddle, shower together, one calls the other 'wife' and means that shit. These two are tighter than butt cheeks and not platonically. Like...is the bi awakening in the room with us? Y'all been awake for a timeeeeee, what you are is cowardly.
And that's fine. Genuine reasons not to want to mess up a totally platonic friendship with your 'wife' whom you shower with(and 'meat graze' during said showers- their words, not mine) and cuddle all day everyday but let's call it what it is, yeah?
Also. Multiple blow jobs before a kiss? Between lifelong best friends? What in the thirsty whore is going on here, man?
How are you comfortable sucking off someone that you've been cuddling since you were kids but a kiss is where you draw the line? Like.... Y'all have already been emotionally intimate!!!!
Just like their annoyed friends say, these two have been boyfriends forever, they just don't realize it.
In addition to that, while they're BOTH uniquely stupid, one is more uncaring about it and tends to repeatedly say and do insensitive stuff that really hurts the other.
And they're supposed to have this awe inspiring bond where they can read each other so well but he never sees what he's doing to his 'wife'.
So here we are, with Dumbo 1 hurting Dumbo 2, who btw takes it silently (usually on his knees) and continues to make all the first moves, until a third party points out how insensitive and hurtful Dumbo 1 is being.
At which point Dumbo 1 overcorrects, decides to go all out with a grand gesture and ensure he's the first to say the magical romance words and he still can't even manage that.
Yes, guys. In the continuing tradition of laying himself bare first every damn time, Dumbo 2 STILL manages to do it again. At which point we get a very enthusiastic romantic response from Dumbo 1 which is,
“Isaac,” he growls out. “I was going to say it first. What do you think all this is?” The circle he walks in would be comical if I wasn’t so fucking confused. “I fucked everything up. I kept waiting for some magical moment to do things, our first kiss, blowing you — everything. You got there before me in all those moments but I was determined to tell you I love you first, you brave little asshole. No. I’m in love with you first, I’ve known for a while and that was your surprise after dinner.”
"I don’t want you to doubt it, to think I kissed you back because you kissed me, I said ‘I love you too’ because you said it. I want you to know I want those things with all of my heart. You know what, you’re not taking this one.” Nate drops to one knee and takes my hand. “Marry me."
Which, ngl, is kinda cute, but by then I was so thoroughly annoyed that I just continued being annoyed.
