Powerless

I picked this up after seeing a post from a few years ago where the author had a viral moment as an onslaught of new readers supported her based on one tweet by the author. I love the internet for that type of thing and I wanted to support her as well even if I was very late to the party.

I'm a bit torn on this book. I loved the first 60% which I read in one night but didn't love the back 40% as much. I think it was when the timeline was revealed that it lost me. I won't go into spoiler territory here so I'll just say the justification for the missing time doesn't make a lot of sense to me. The last 25% of the book felt rushed and it wasn't a satisfying ending for me. It downgraded the previous antagonists to two dimensional characters which doesn't help the lesson the story is trying to tell.

In the first half of the book there were emotional notes that were hit perfectly but the last quarter of the book was missing that. I wanted to stay with them longer in those moments, really feel the turn of events, but we were rushed through them too much.

What I did love was the accuracy of the POV from the 16yo's perspective. Her thoughts, justifications, interpretation of experiences, and reactions to events were so spot on for me. It was almost like the author had peered into my own head at that age.

I had forgotten what my 16yo self was like until I read this and it reminded me of how flawed we are when we're growing up and experiencing the world for the first time. We don't know if we should have these reactions, we're putting on a show for others because that's what we THINK we should do when we feel very differently in our hearts, we're trying to follow the lead of our parents or elders but have doubts and don't know how to voice them... all of this was the jumbled mess of the character's and my 16yo brain that I had forgotten about.

I think the first half is important for teens or pre-teens to reads as a cautionary tale. The back quarter lost that lesson in favour of tying up the ending in a pretty bow when, in my opinion, that wasn't the point of the story or lesson in the first place. The events in the book can be triggering (trigger list below) but it's told in a way that isn't detailing the events on page. The writing style itself is interesting because it's a little bit removed from the events in many parts which helps the content to not be as triggering as it would have been with other writing styles. I wasn't re-traumatised by this which, given my history with these triggers, is uncommon for me. I usually need to stay away from books that have these triggers as, depending on how it's handled, they can be upsetting and/or can affect my mental health significantly. This book is one exception which I am grateful for.

The first half of the book gets 4.5 stars but the back quarter dragged it down to a 3.5 star rating. I do recommend it if you keep in mind the ending is a bit rushed.

TRIGGER WARNING BELOW

THE TRIGGER WARNINGS CONTAIN SPOILERS
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Trigger warnings:
- age gap power dynamics (derogatory)
- controlling behaviour
- death
- drug use (off page)
- forced imprisonment
- forced sex work/rape (kind of off page)
- gaslighting and emotional abuse (on page)
- grooming (on page)
- kidnapping
- sex with a minor (kind of off page)
- violence
- volatile housing situation / unhoused individuals