Ratings7
Average rating3.2
This is an informative, well-researched book on the challenges faced by modern-day mothers in a variety of situations in the US. The argument is that structurally & culturally, the US is pretty damning to mothers, and that the pandemic made things a lot worse.
Like most books I've read about motherhood, I find the experience of reading this book a bit depressing: the chapters focus on how difficult it is to exist normally/continue working through pregnancy, the general lack of paid leave, the history of discrimination against pregnant women and mothers, the pressures of social media, the exorbitant costs of child care, child rearing falling more often to mothers than fathers, etc.
And I get it – that's what the book is about. It's to show the dismal state of affairs, presumably in the hopes of inciting change via legislation, community organizing, and shifting sociocultural beliefs around motherhood to make things better. But the mention of that – what can be done, I mean, what actions we can take – is only briefly mentioned at the end. There are glimmers of hope for change, but it makes it difficult for one to be excited about motherhood when it's made out to sound like one monumental, soul-sucking struggle.
The author mentions her daughters are the best thing she ever did in her life the acknowledgements, but that doesn't come through at all in the book. Ultimately, the line that hit me the hardest, which came towards the very end, reads: “Even about the things we love most, we are truly ambivalent.” That really resonates.
Anyways. The book is okay. It reads more like a research paper than a book – an engaging research paper, but not the most fun thing to sink your teeth into.
Not a totally bad book and I did like some parts, especially about the history of motherhood and it's expectations, and the final chapters about how it has all changed for mothers in the times of the pandemic. I guess I just wasn't sure what I was expecting from this.
Much of what I have experienced as a woman and a working mother is discussed in this book, along with some history. It's depressing, but also good to feel seen.