Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh

A thrillingly told queer space opera about the wreckage of war, the family you find, and who you must become when every choice is stripped from you, Some Desperate Glory is Astounding Award Winner and Crawford Award Finalist Emily Tesh’s highly anticipated debut novel. "Masterful, audacious storytelling. Relentless, unsentimental, a completely wild ride."—Tamsyn Muir While we live, the enemy shall fear us. Since she was born, Kyr has trained for the day she can avenge the murder of planet Earth. Raised in the bowels of Gaea Station alongside the last scraps of humanity, she readies herself to face the Wisdom, the powerful, reality-shaping weapon that gave the majoda their victory over humanity. They are what’s left. They are what must survive. Kyr is one of the best warriors of her generation, the sword of a dead planet. When Command assigns her brother to certain death and relegates her to Nursery to bear sons until she dies trying, she knows must take humanity's revenge into her own hands. Alongside her brother’s brilliant but seditious friend and a lonely, captive alien, Kyr escapes from everything she’s known into a universe far more complicated than she was taught and far more wondrous than she could have imagined.

I hate to call books "brave" because that often feels patronizing. However, this book continued to surprise me until the last page. Kyr's narrow view of her world was such a perfect restriction and felt so realistic for the situation she's in. She's a little brainwashed fascist being forced to see that her worldview isn't accurate, down to her perspective on the people she loves most. Absolutely lovely book all around.

Fast-paced, easy to read.
I like the worldbuilding but wish it got more attention.
The book does something very interesting with the question “What makes a hero?” setting up the main character as someone I would categorize as a terrorist. I had zero sympathy for Kyr, but halfway through everything unravels to reveal more complexity ??? she starts questioning her own perception of the world. Where will it take her?

I don't particularly like the final 3rd of the story (specifically the ending ??? really, it could've ended after two 3rds and I would've been happier with it). Something about the choice of resolution... And it felt a bit too YA for me (even if it isn't YA?). Maybe a bit too rushed too?

2.75*

You're almost certainly familiar with Kahneman's and Fredrickson's wonderful ice-water experiment (“When More Pain is Preferred to Less”, also called the peak-end rule), the one where victisubjects opted for a longer (90s vs 60s) painful experience if the last few seconds were less painful. I love that result. I've found it invaluable for reframing life situations.

This is a 436-page book, of which the first 220 or so pages are excruciating. Oh, how I wanted to toss it away! But I was encouraged to stick with it. I did. And I'm glad.

Halfway through, it took an interesting twist, and yes it was foreshadowed but no, not the directions it took after the midpoint. That was thoughtful, creative, nuanced, suspenseful, engaging, and even sweet; and it just kept getting better. A whole lot of Did Not See That Coming, even when you think you see what's coming, and damn, I really loved it. Solid 4.5 stars, but rounding down because even with all that praise it was still objectively heavyhanded (I know, it's YA, I should be more forgiving); because of the eyeroll-worthy dei ex machina and other wildly convenient coincidences; and finally because I can't objectively be sure if the last half was truly-actually good or if I was swayed by the peak-end rule. What I can say is, I'm really glad to have read this and can highly, highly recommend it but only to those who promise to persevere through the first half. Tesh took a big risk in writing the book that way, and I'm sure it cost her sales and readers. If she decides to go for the adult reader market, I'm looking forward to seeing her future work.