Storykiller

I got a really beautiful edition of this book through kickstarter on the basis of a cult following and some of my favorite artists contributing. The art is beyond gorgeous. The story ... was a let down.

I think this book suffers from wrong medium. The actual story is fun, though more or less a Buffy fanfic. There's nothing wrong with Buffy fanfic. However, the writing is clunky and juvenile. Words like “badass,” and “double t hott” just have no place in a third person narrative. All of the characters' thought processes are spelled out in painstakingly told-not-shown detail and the author tries a clever simile about every third simple sentence, effectively removing any of the cleverness. This story really should be told in visual format where emotions can be conveyed in a panel instead of a full page, or even a tv show, but not as a novel.

Another review I read pointed to this as a “girl power fantasy” complete with shopping scenes and hott guys falling over our hero. I'd add to that a selection of 80s teen movie bullies (no bully has every really used the phrases “new girl” or “double half breed” as insults), an incredibly awkward not-sex scene, and instantaneous life bonds which, again, might work in a short format where the reader got to infer the relationship progress. There is nothing to infer here. Everything is spelled out to the point of frustration. I felt like I was editing fanfic reading it. It uses every one of my own horrible crutches.

I almost stopped reading after the first chapter, but I still kinda wanted my money's worth and the story itself has a good deal of promise. Fenris is great. The concept, though it has been done a bit to death recently, is popular for a reason. The fight scenes, too, are decent (and that's not easy to do). However, I thought it fell flat as a novel. I would love to see it again in a more trimmed down format, but for now there isn't really anything making me want to read the next book.