The Alpha Female's Guide to Men and Marriage
How Love Works
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As seen on Fox & Friends The Alpha Female's Guide to Men and Marriage shows women who have a dominating personality how to love a man. America is in love with the alpha female. She’s the quintessential modern woman—assertive, razor sharp, and fully in control. Her success in the marketplace is undeniable, a downright boon to society. But what happens when the alpha female gets married? She becomes an alpha wife, of course. An alpha wife is in charge of everything and everyone. She is, quite simply, the Boss. The problem is, no man wants a boss for a wife. That type of relationship may work for a spell, but it will eventually come crashing down. Since 1970, just as women became more and more powerful outside the home—more alpha—the divorce rate has quadrupled. And it is women who lead the charge. Today, 70% of divorce is initiated by wives. Do men just make lousy husbands? Not at that rate, says Suzanne Venker, bestselling author of The War on Men. The truth is that women don’t know how to be wives. Why would they? That’s not what they were raised to become. But women can learn. There’s an art to loving a man, says Venker, and any woman can master it. An alpha female herself, Venker learned how to be a wife the hard way—through trial and error. Lots of error. And here’s what she knows today—the set of skills a woman needs to pursue a career, or even to raise children, is the exact set of skills that will mess up her marriage but good. No man likes to be told what to do. And no woman respects the man who does. The Alpha Female's Guide to Men and Marriage gives women who are used to being in charge the tools they need to make their marriages less competitive and more complementary. Part memoir, part advice, this brave manifesto argues that while marriage is more challenging for the alpha female, it is possible to find peace in your marriage. In fact, it may be easier than you think.
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It's very hard to rate...
Her advice is very good, it's easy to read, she writes well, BUT
her description of an alpha female reminds me of the dogs Cesar Millan (The Dog Whisperer) is called to help. Not alphas, but people who desperately want to have an alpha in their lives, but don't have one, and therefore are doing their very best to be that, and fail miserable, are miserable doing it, and make everyone else miserable as well. Being bossy, dominant and dictatorial aren't the same as being a born leader.
Feminism isn't what she thinks it is, and she can't stop herself from jabbing at it. It's exhausting and irritating.
If you are a Conservative, read this book. It will make your life and marriage a lot better.
If you aren't... read it anyway, and try to find the core of what she says, and ignore all the BS she sprinkles over it. The core is sound and wise. It's just the wrapping that stinks. And it's really short, so you'll read it very quickly.
My advice for a happy marriage (and I have been happily married for over 20 years)
- Marry your best friend, or the person who would be your best friend if you weren't sexually attracted to him/her. The lust phase will pass, but friendship never ends. A good marriage is basically two best friends sharing a home.
- Divorce is not an option. Agree on this before you get married. If you think you can always divorce if it doesn't work out, don't get married. Work out all the wrinkles. Talk.
- Respect each other. Listen to each other.
- Express your love to each other as often as possible. Be starry-eyed and silly. Kiss, hug, cuddle often. Sex is not necessary, TLC, kindness and intimacy is.
- It's ok to argue, quarrel, fight, get mad at each other, but talk it over until you understand each other and where you come from. It's ok to disagree, but you need to understand each other.
- Marriage is not “happily ever after”. You will be quite unhappy every now and then. Every now and then you will be sick and tired of your marriage. It doesn't matter. You will be sick and tired of your hair, eye color, clothes, work and everything else in your life as well. It's still good enough.
- Don't think you'll change him/her. The only person you can change is yourself.