The art of losing yourself

Two years ago, I tried to read this story. I found it depressing and laid it aside. Eventually I forgot I had gotten a review copy and spent 1.99 on an ebook. Thanks to a buddy read and an author focus month, I picked it up and actually managed to finish it.

The writing is well done. I could feel the emotions of the characters and knew what motivated them. I could almost see was was going on. I came to care about what happened with Carmen and Gracie, and truly enjoyed the bits about the inn.

I didn't like the morbid focus on using the bathroom and how. Literally, a full third of the chapters had some reference or other to going to use the bathroom, to finding a lavatory, to using the beach when there wasn't running water. Come on...really? And the repeated crude slang put me off, too.

For all the angst I went through with Carmen and Gracie, I wanted some payoff! The book was ended at an entirely wrong spot! What happened next? Did Gracie get her life together? Did she learn to trust Jesus, to know what baptism actually means? Did Carmen and Ben ever start a family? Did Carmen ever get over her unhealthy focus on gaining a baby? There are literally hundreds of foster kids in the US waiting for homes simply because they're no longer babies and many families can't take sibling groups or don't want older kids. Did Carmen ever let herself fully open her heart to her husband again? Did she hold onto that sliver of faith she had, or did it falter again? What about Ben? I never saw him being a strong Christian man, throwing himself on his knees and asking God to heal their family and open Carmen's heart to him again. I was left with hundreds of questions of what came next. Just when I began to hope the characters might find some real glimmer of hope, the story was over. They faltered so many times, there's every chance they were going to falter again. I left behind some characters that were weak and needy. I wanted to see some healing.

Also... what's up with the title? Each character began entirely self-focused, so I expected it to be part of their learning how to look at things beyond themselves. But, in the end, they were generally just beginning to perk up and realize the world was bigger than they were. Gracie, better than Carmen was.

There's a whole level of faith that takes people far beyond the tiny glimmers of hope these two sisters had gotten. I kept hoping that the beautiful conquering faith would show up somewhere, and it didn't.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the review copy, even though I forgot about it and bought my own. :)