The Comfort Book
Ratings52
Average rating4.1
This strange little book makes me want to have Matt Haig as a friend. I will keep this close to me, and reopen it every time I need my spirits lifted.
I will definitely read the rest of this author bibliography, children books included.
This book is full of amazing anecdotes, life lessons and affirmations loosely tied together in four sections. It is not like you will be completely unaware of the contents of this book. That is the unique thing about it. The way its content is laid out is so comforting, reassuring and motivating at the same time, you will feel like you've entered uncharted territory. This book doesn't talk in a way to make you feel overwhelmed or make you feel like everything you do is wrong or inadequate. It teaches kindness, forgiveness and metamorphosing. The everyday reaffirming advice you wish you got is finally here. Five-star worthy devourable stuff right here.
A much needed book for times when you're feeling down and a bit low. Matt's experience with depression and anxiety feels so close to mine, all those pages were like a gentle soothing touch on my soul that made me feel really better. I highlighted and kept so much excerpts aside that I think I turned the whole book yellow. A great read just too short ❤️
« Be humble because you are made of earth. Be noble, for you are made of stars. »
– Serbian proverb
Very comforting!
Has helped me on the days when I'm feeling low and shit about myself. Nothing groundbreaking in the content, but thats not the point either. You'll find something, if not everything, very relatable and soothing in that moment. And that's sometimes all you need on a shitty day.
The book is more of a journal with notes that are useful for people in a depression or coming out of one. It's well-written and it's full of good tips on how to take care of yourself, maybe except for some ‘recipes' that would not only increase your happiness levels, but also your BMI.
If you have a friend or a loved one suffering of depression, this book can be a good gift.
Quotes from The Comfort Book:
“You have survived everything you have been through, and you will survive this too. Stay for the person you will become. You are more than a bad day, or week, or month, or year, or even a decade. You are a future of multifarious possibility. You are another self at a point in future time looking back in gratitude that this lost and former you held on. Stay.”
“External events are neutral. They only gain positive or negative value the moment they enter our minds. It is ultimately up to us how we greet these things. It's not always easy, sure, but there is a comfort in knowing it is possible to view any single thing in multiple ways. It also empowers us, because we aren't at the mercy of the world we can never control, we are at the mercy of a mind we can, potentially, with effort and determination, begin to alter and expand. Our mind might make prisons, but it also gives us keys.”
“Your worth is you. Your worth is your presence. Your worth is right there. Your worth isn't something you earn. Your worth isn't something you buy. Your worth isn't something you gain through status on popularity or stomach crunches or having a really chic kitchen. Your worth is your existence. You were born with worth, as all babies are, and that worth doesn't disappear simply because you have grown a little older. You are a human, being.”
“Curiosity and passion are the enemies of anxiety. Even when I fell into anxiety, if I get curious enough about something outside of me it can help pull me out. Music, art, film, nature, conversation, words. Find passion as large as your fear. The way out of your mind is via the world.”
“When things go dark, we can't see what we have. That doesn't mean that we don't have those things. Those things remain, right in front of us. All we need is to light a candle, or ignite some hope, and we can see that what we thought was lost was merely hidden.”
“There will be other days. And other feelings.”
“As the great writer Anne Lamott puts it: “Lighthouses don't go running all over an island for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”
“It's okay to be the teacup with a chip in it. That's the one with a story.”
“It is a strange paradox, that many of the clearest, most comforting life lessons are learned while we are at our lowest.”
“No is a good word. It keeps you sane. In an age of overload, no is really yes. It is yes to having the space you need to live.”
“You can't change the past. You can't change other people. You can change you though. You narrate this story. So start to write a new chapter.”
“But when we find ourselves at a crossroads it is often better to stop, wait a while at the lights and check the map. After all, movement isn't progress if we are heading in the wrong direction.”
“Happiness occurs when you forget who you're expected to be. And what you're expected to do. Happiness is an accident of self-acceptance. It's the warm breeze you feel when you open the door to who you are.”
“Growth is change. And when everything is easy, we have no reason to change. The most painful moments in life expand us. And when the pain leaves, space remains. Space we can fill with life itself.”
“You don't need to know the future to be hopeful. You just need to embrace the concept of possibility. To accept that the unknowability of the future is the key, and that there are versions of that future that are brighter and fairer than the present. The future is open.”
“It is easier to learn to be soaked and happy than to learn how to stop the rain.”
“Ruining the present by worrying about the future is like burning your most treasured possession simply because you might one day lose other possessions that you don't own yet.”
“If you aim to be something you are not, you will always fail. Aim to be you.”
“Your self-worth is not found inside the minds of other people.”
“Don't drain yourself trying to be understood by people who insist on not understanding you.”
“Each of us has the power to enter a new world. All we have to do is change our mind.”
“A reminder for the tough times One day this will be over. And we will be grateful for life in ways we never felt possible before.”
After really enjoying “The Midnight Library” by the same author I wanted to give one of his other works a go and they did not disappoint.
Also, where was this book seven years ago when I needed it the most?
I really enjoyed this one. When it comes to nonfiction i love seeing different perspectives on selfhelp etc. I have historically leaned towards brene brown, mark manson, and other influencers. Matt Haig i read his midnight library in the past so this was a nice breathe of change. What a great author and forever glad I listened/read this one. Definitely recommend this one for non fiction readers.
Truly a comforting read that's basically the inspiring things the author experienced when he was going through rough times in his life.
First line: ”Perhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition”
Last line: ”A caterpillar disappears into its silk-wrapped cocoon, and things go dark and then…”
You can’t read The Comfort Book just like any other book. Even Matt Haig states in the opening “notes on structure” that this book is “as messy as life itself”. It’s basically a collection of wisdom that can be read consecutively, or just by flipping through the book randomly and reading whichever one lands on.
Sometimes, the nuggets close to each other seem to share common themes, so I found it helpful to read at least the adjacent ones together.
I enjoy Haig’s writing. I love his stories, and even though this book is not a story, I can recognise his writing even in this book.
Whenever I’ve felt down or things have felt hopeless, I’ve always found hope in reading a few of these wisdoms. Sometimes, that is all you need, just to get some perspective, and someone “telling” you that things may look bad from your point of view, but with a different perspective, even the worst things can suddenly look hopeful.
A lot of self-help books fall into a trap of just ending up sounding like a collection of instagram quotes, but this book manages to steer away from this with grace. A lot of this is because many nuggets are written from the voice of Haig himself, almost talking, I think.
I would recommend this book to anyone needing a boost of hope, and I will keep it close at hand, comforted in knowing that I can pick it up when things feel dark, and I need to shift my perspectives.
Favorite passages:
“We all have an impact on each other. We are all connected in so many seen and unseen ways. Which possible explains why one of the simplest and quickest routes to happiness seems to be to make someone else happy. The reason to be selfless is selfish. Nothing makes ourselves feel better that not thinging of our selves.” (p.52)
“Life is understood backward; but it must be lived forward” (Søren Kierkegaard) (p.64)
“There is no point spending your entire life trying to win the love you didn’t feel when you needed it. You sometimes just have to let go of an old story and start your own. Give yourself some love. You can’t change the past. You can’t change other people. You can change you though. You narrate this story. So start to write a new chapter.” (p.66)
“Experience one beautiful thing a day. However small. However trivial. Read a poem. Play a favorite song. Laugh with a friend. Gaze at the sky just before the sun’s final tumble toward night. Watch a classic movie. Eat a slice of lemon drizzle cake. Whatever. Just give yourself one simple reminder that the world is full of wonders. Even if we are at a point in life where we can’t appreciate things, it sometimes helps to remember there are things in this world to enjoy, when we are ready.” (p.79)
“We grow through hard times. Growth is change. And when everything is easy, we have no reason to change. The most painful moments in life expand us. And when the pain leaves, space remains. Space we can fill with life itself.” (p.80)
“Loneliness isn’t an absence of company. Loneliness is felt when we are lost. But we can be lost right in the middle of a crowd. There is nothing lonelier than being with people who aren’t on your wavelength. The cure for loneliness isn’t more people. The cure for loneliness is understanding who we are.” (p.185)
“You don’t have to cope with everything. You don’t have to handle everything. You don’t have to keep a lid on every-thing to get through a day.
You can’t turn tides. You can’t defy gravity. You can’t go against the grain without getting splinters.
But you can drop the disguise. You can feel what you feel. You can stretch out inside yourself.
You can cry. You can feel. You can show what you are.
You can, in fact, be you.” (p.196)
I dislike categorizing Matt Haig's non- fiction as ‘self-help'. I think it gives the wrong connotation to them. He's not giving a step by step process to a better life or giving you the 1,2,3 to a happy life. When I read them, I think more in terms of a book on perspective and thoughtful reflection, on ourselves, on the modern world, and on ways to see things differently. The Comfort Book is no different, although it approaches it in a slightly different way from his previous books. I find I even know a lot of the things he talks about deep down, but reading it actually forces me to think on it more intently, to see it through the lense of my own life and even encourages me to take steps in a healthier direction. Whether that's my thought patterns, physical or mental health or even confronting my own bad habits. This book isn't a ‘how to' or a guide to fix all your problems, but it is an uplifting one that puts this crazy modern world of ours into perspective and perhaps gives some thoughtful tools to use that perspective to make positive changes in your own life. Easy to take in small bites or one big binge read and also one I think will be good to re-read again in the future when you need a good pick me up.
This was like reading my iPhone notes. Such a great book to gif to anybody who is struggling in any capacity. I adored it.