The Dreams You Made in the Dirt

Not in the mood to write an extensive, coherent review of this one, so don't expect my thoughts to flow well. I'm also in a reading slump and just a generally poor state of mental health right now, and that definitely colours my perceptions of what I read in a negative manner.

* * While not quite bad enough to warrant only one star - if only because I've read some absolute drivel this year - this story wastes most of its potential. The writing has a decent flow, but the storytelling leaves much to be desired... and the relationship is so rushed it comes across as both superficial and extremely creepy. (The creep factor is mostly because Cole constantly thinks of Aiden as “the kid” and Aiden's mental/emotional maturity level makes it hard to remember he's supposed to be of legal age. But Cole asking him his age and then his birthday - after they've kissed, mind you, and while he thinks of him as “a kid” - is really messed up and has uncomfortable predatory vibes, making his later insistence that he “doesn't want to take advantage” feel more like gaslighting than sincerity.)I wasn't sold on the portrayal of emotional maturities or mental illnesses - the latter of which felt like an afterthought which we were often reassured existed yet never properly shown in a believable manner. As a person who's dealt with some of the issues portrayed, I found it rather grating and insensitive to write it as if PTSD is so easily dismissed by power of will to not endure a flashback; suicidal intrusive thoughts are so easily dismissed by pushing them away; depression is magically cured by having more responsibilities in the form of a new pet; and lifelong fear responses from abuse just disappear in a few weeks or months because the stranger you're living with now seems likeable and trustworthy.In the same vein, I find it impossible to believe that someone who spent his whole life living with an abusive bigot - and was so indoctrinated into said bigot's beliefs that he thought something was wrong with himself for liking other males - was somehow short-sighted enough to not only keep a gay pornographic magazine in his room but jerk off to it in a room without a locked door while his abusive, bigoted parent was home. If he were some, naive preteen who couldn't logically think through the potential repercussions, sure, maybe that'd be believable. (Then again, ain't that the general age where people learn to take that stuff to the bathroom so they aren't caught?) But someone over the age of eighteen, who's been closeted for as long as he's known he's gay, and is well aware how violent and bigoted his dad is...?No, I don't believe that for one second, which makes the entire premise of the story feel farcial and ridiculous.This is only made more absurd by the fact Cole doesn't ignore the badly injured young man saying “oh no, no hospital” and take him to a hospital despite his (insufferable for other reasons) sister the doctor suggesting it and his own thoughts noting that his ailing uncle seemed better off right before dying than “the kid” does. Aiden's wishy-washy jumping between “no hospital, because they'd call the police, and then my dad would kill me” (how he'd kill him from in prison is anyone's guess; he has the foresight of a literal child) and “oh it's fine, he was just drunk, it's okay” is also somewhere between insultingly poorly written and just plain unbelievable. I get what the author was aiming for, but there's no emotional impact and it's breezed over so suddenly and confusingly that it just doesn't feel genuine.That aside, though, the main characters were more or less likeable. In a longer story with room to develop and an editor to fix some of the poorly written aspects of mental health in particular, I think I'd quite enjoy reading about them, but they had far better chemistry as ‘doctor and patient' instead of lovers. The entire relationship was just... skeevy feeling. Uncomfortable, for a variety of reasons, some of which I've already discussed. And a lot of plot beats felt far too contrived with a very strained suspension of disbelief.I also ended up skimming all the on-page sexual stuff, mostly because the dynamic of the relationship wasn't one I appreciated. Some elements of it seemed decently written, but the dialogue choices and circumstances felt off. I can't tell if that's because I already had the “eugh, creepy” notion in my head or because it was actually weird (or because I skimmed and potentially missed important context), so take that with a grain of salt.The ending was... well, the only word that comes to mind is ‘stupid,' though I hate using that word because it sounds like an insult to the author's intelligence and that isn't how I mean it. I just mean that the ending sucks - and, if anything, is itself an insult to the readers' intelligence for expecting us to buy into the sheer absurdity. It makes even less sense than everything else I've mentioned. It's so bad and so nonsensical that I'm not even going to bother trying to explain it vaguely or use spoilers. The ending just sucks, that's all.The dog, Tessa, was absolutely adorable, though! (Which makes her getting injured in the incredibly stupid terrible, bad, nonsensical ending all the worse.) * *

A side note: I found it really questionable that Cole would give a random guy he knows nothing about codeine, since it's an opiate. Then I googled out of curiosity and learned that codeine was available over-the-counter (in low-dose form) in Australia until 2018 - four years after this was written. I'm still making frowny faces at it because the casual use of opiates is just begging to get someone addicted, but eh. I guess nobody knew better back then...?

I'm not quite sure how to review this one. I liked it. It's short. I wouldn't have minded for it to be longer, but I don't feel like it's incomplete, so there's that.

Aiden and Cole met quite by chance and I don't really want to wonder what the alternative would have been, I'm more than happy it turned out this way. Aiden's story is so sad, he's been through some awful stuff and I'm glad Cole could give him a ray of hope. Cole's side of things is sad too, they are both people who just need an anchor, a safe space.

I liked Lisa Henry's spin on the request, writing prompts are so great and I love seeing what one comes up with. I read the prompt after I read the story and good thing I did that because my expectations would have been so much different (not that I had any kind of expectations). Reversing the order worked out because otherwise I would have expected things that don't happen in the actual story and that would have taken away from my enjoyment.

It feels wrong to say I liked this story because it's so sad. I do feel sorry for the characters, but I also liked the writing, how Cole did the best he could given the situation, and how certain things were revealed.

I liked that the relationship between Aiden and Cole didn't feel forced or conditioned by the circumstances. It developed quite naturally. And I would have liked more of that, but I am happy with what I got as well.