The Fetishist

I went into this hoping for cathartic vengeance against a**holes. It doesn't really fulfill that. However, there are some absolutely beautiful sentences and nuanced characters that I enjoyed reading about. Especially Alma. And Ricky. I loved how they loved each other. And how, honestly, I'm not sure Daniel will ever really be able to change, judging by the epilogue.

Thank you Netgalley and Publisher for this arc in exchange for an honest review! All opinions are my own.

My summaries tend to be long-winded, especially when I'm trying to condense such lively plot into short sentences, so all I'll say is I greatly appreciate the themes this book explored and I learned so much. I've read a lot of books about the black experience because it's something I relate to and live through everyday. This was an extremely different reading experience for me because I am incredibly separated from it. Asian fetishization is something I understand in theory, can probably describe in objective terms, but will never truly experience firsthand. Reading stories like this then is imperative to inform that. It was a beautifully written and engaging way to learn how it feels, or what it looks like, to be fetishized as an asian woman. Despite this being fiction, I have no doubt the relationships here resemble ones that do exist and are harmful to asian women in real life.

Aside from theme, I sometimes felt this book was too smart for me. Who knows what Mylar is? Or what lissome beauty means? Daniel sitting in a....naugahyde recliner? You can't tell me you all knew what these were. Not a big issue to look things up obviously, but I think this is why it took me longer than usual to finish it. It's not a book I can breeze through for that reason alone. Honestly, this problem could be reduced if the netgalley app just allowed the dictionary/search function in the app but I digress. Alternatively, there were allusions to art, language, and food, like dishes, artists and art pieces, and korean words/phrases, that built character and contextualized identity/relationships. I really enjoyed these (though I tended to skip over a lot of the music talk).

This story had awesome momentum. I was always wondering what could possibly happen next, what intimacies were going to be unveiled. Once I learned everyone's names and quirks (you'd be surprised how hard it is for me), I felt extremely close to them all. Sometimes their ignorance was hard to look at. Other times, the intense desire for revenge had me stressed. But I was always invested.

One of the devestating parts of the book that I keep going back to is this relationship between Daniel and Emi. That he hasn't been thinking about her at all despite Kyoko wanting him dead for decades. I just find that so gut wrenching0–to never be able to let go of someone, to feel a bit foolish for having thought of them so much, only for them to not care or remember you. I think that's just such an excellent lesson, one that we don't really talk about. You can ruin someone's life and forget about them. But their life is still ruined. They don't get to forget you. This murder fantasy of Kyoko's is such an inventive way to go about showing this.

I also think, for this same reason, that Daniels ‘redemption' didn't make the most sense to me. This didn't feel like a book about forgiveness to me. I thought it was going to be quite the opposite. The book at one point even admits Daniel forgives himself, not because he deserved it, but because he needed it? As if this is not how we all experience guilt and remorse, wanting desperately to be forgiven and knowing it's not our decision? People have suffered not being forgiven for much less. Being able to admit to oneself their bad habits, their fetishization in this case, is not the same as working through, and away, from them. Without this, you just have acceptance which isn't fair to anyone. I guess I just wanted others to hold him accountable. It felt like everyone was dancing around what it was, refusing to actually call him an asian fetishist, or they weren't willing to talk about this pattern at all. Kyoko managed this, but quickly forgot it. Alma was the last person I expected to take his realization so lightly, especially as he would accuse her soon after of always being so opinionated. In the end, despite my reaction to this detail, the writing is amazing and realistic. Sometimes time really does heals wounds. Sometimes the shittiest people do get redemption arcs, despite only narrowly deserving them. In the same way you might hate an unreliable or evil narrator but still love the writing, I think Daniel as a character is unbearable and that unbearable-ness is very well written. The fact that I can recognize his unbearable-ness and still love how it's written, is proof that this book had me invested in the well-being of flawed characters. Not every book can do that.

I did wish there was more emphasis on Rickey at the end. He faded away despite being their connective tissue in many ways. I was a bit unsatisfied with this because I didn't believe that he could be so dedicated to Alma and then get very little time to shine at the end. Just because he's a ‘smaller' character doesn't mean he didn't grieve, didn't experience loss. There were other smaller, subtler details that I think were lost as well.

The ending was another impressive part. It solidified, for me at least, that Daniel's obsession with asian women wasn't just an attempt at replicating what he had with Alma, but a true perversion that had a much earlier and strange origin. I say this because some of the events in the book made it feel like everything came down to Alma, that his string of lovers were some sort of replacement for HER? I'm sure Daniel would characteristically think that about himself. But it was necessary to establish that, despite loving Alma for who she was, his love for her, like all the other women, sprouted from something less romantic, less genuine (to say the least). This section was an obvious separation from the rest of the book that felt fresh and incredibly necessary.

This was such a beautiful book. I was extremely sad to find that the author is no longer with us, but I'm very glad this book is making its way into the world. It's such a unique story and I'm so thankful I could read it!!