The Gift of Not Belonging

Were you the kid who never wanted to join after school clubs or go to sleepaway camp? Do you loathe parties but love spending time with close friends one-on-one? Are you allergic to teamwork but thrive creatively and professionally when working alone? Do you struggle to fit in? If so, you are likely an otrovert.

Otroverts are not natural born joiners. Unlike introverts, they are not shy or quiet, and do not quickly tire from one-on-one socializing. Yet in large groups they feel uncomfortable, alienated, and alone.

Unlike those who have been excluded or marginalized, otroverts are embraced and often quite popular. Yet they never feel like they truly belong.
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In a culture that puts a premium on joining, many otroverts have gone through life feeling misunderstood. But, contrary to what we have been taught, argues psychiatrist Rami Kaminski, belonging is not a requirement for living a rich, rewarding life. Quite the opposite.

When you have no affinity for a particular group, your self-worth is not conditioned on the group’s approval. You can enjoy deep connection in individual relationships without the obligation to follow the rules the group follows, or care about what the group cares about. Best of all, you know of no other way to think or be, other than for yourself.

The Gift of Not Belonging urges otroverts to embrace their unique gifts, and equips them with the knowledge and tools to thrive in a communal world.