The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

I read this book as a guy getting married in less than a week. I'm familiar with Sheila and Keith's ministry: both the Bare Marriage blog and especially The Great Sex Rescue. Much of what they have to say through these pipelines is a great asset to the church, even though I disagree with their egalitarian theology.

Much of the Good Guy's Guide (GGG) was review for me, thanks to the Gregoire's aforementioned other work. But there was so much new content worth reading in here! There were two particularly heart-touching stories that actually made my jaw drop in the car as I listened to them. Sheila & Keith are fighting an uphill battle in this book -- they have to work against popular yet harmful teachings on sex, even from within the church. The GGG, particularly as written for husbands, is focused on the wife and how we as men can work with her to achieve marital & sexual satisfaction.

Even though some might say that the key to a good sexual relationship is a variety of physical things (technique, frequency), it's abundantly clear in this book that the foundation of a good sex life is a good marriage. If we as husbands are not honoring our wives and sacrificing ourselves daily for them, then that's going to have a negative impact on the sexual part of our relationship. The Gregoires describe sex as a thermometer, not a thermostat, for a marriage. And, when we do have that foundation, the care and sacrifice do not stop in the bedroom. We have to make the effort to understand our wives as our own body.

The only reason I dock half a star is for somewhat of a lack of biblical exegesis/citations. This book isn't meant as a comprehensive treatment on marriage as a whole, but they barely touched 1 Corinthians 7, which is probably the most useful teaching on sex specifically in the entire Bible. I suspect that they may have laid off on a lot of Scripture to make the book appealing to both egalitarians and complementarians, since their theology would presumably bleed through in many places. But, I'd prefer a larger amount of honest treatment and usage of Scripture, even if it is from another perspective.

It's clear that, after this reading, all the GGG really teaches is another point of the ultimate command: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and your neighbor as yourself." Our wives are fundamentally different from us, and anatomy is only the tip of the iceberg. It's as simple as communication, patience, and kindness. If we obey the commands of God, our whole life will be better; the marriage bed is no exception to this.

As an aside, I found the honeymoon appendix at the end of the book to be a useful addition.