The Language of Flowers

I was compelled to read this book after learning of the author whose passion for foster children and partnering with organizations advocating for these children was alluring, especially after hearing her share about her experiences at a conference. After finishing the book, I am left with mixed emotions and am uncertain what has me stuck the most.

Having worked in mental health for almost two years now, I have interacted with youth who have had such unstable and troubled pasts and truly struggle to make decisions that will lead them down a different path because of the toll this past has taken, with and without family and natural supports. In this way, I caution myself from judging Victoria's character too harshly because she was abused, mistreated, shuffled from one placement to the next, and learned to guard and protect herself after essentially having to be in survival mode all of her life.

The reality of the world is that there are broken people like this who have been hurt, are hurting, and hurt others because they do not know how else to interact with the world around them. These broken people end up in situations that can be beyond frustrating such as ending up homeless, quitting a stable job, refusing love and support from others, and getting pregnant and having a child despite not knowing the first thing about being a parent. Life can be so messy, and I think this is something the author did not want to shy away from, especially in the life of a foster-child-now-“adult”.

I can most certainly appreciate these things and hope the book opens more people's eyes to the realities of the foster care system and the children who come out of this system as adults. However, even with the “happy” ending, I still did not feel satisfied with the ending and how the story progressed. Perhaps I need to avoid books that hit too close to home with work or maybe this just isn't my preferred style of writing or story.

This book frustrated me. Or maybe it's just that it gave me an overwhelming feeling of futility. It highlighted some of the reasons I do not want to be a mom. I loved the romance aspect when it was good and they were having flirty moments passing flowers. I know that it's supposed to be melancholy because that makes the goodness that much sweeter, but I feel the same way about this book as I feel about The Life of Pi. I don't want to feel sad and frustrated for most of the ride. To be sure, it is beautifully written and the story itself is good, I just didn't feel good reading it. Victoria's choices make sense because of the trauma and instability she endured as a child, but I still hated these choices. I don't know how to feel about this one.

It was interesting to read The Language of Flowers so close to reading Pollyanna. The central character of The Language of Flowers, Victoria, like Pollyanna, is an orphan, but that is the only way Victoria and Pollyanna are alike. Victoria is a wild animal, a child who has spent her life going from foster home to foster home, who has suffered at the hands of many disastrously unqualified foster parents, who has learned to destroy relationships before the others have a chance to do the same. Victoria somehow is placed with Elizabeth and Elizabeth, because of her own difficult experiences with her mother, sees through Victoria's attempts to sabotage their relationship and bonds with her. But this relationship is doomed, too, as both Elizabeth and Victoria can't quite dare to make the commitments to each other that they want to do.

At times, Victoria's behavior in the story seemed too extreme to have been accepted by Elizabeth, but that is my one difficulty with the book. I loved the role of flowers in the story, for healing, for building relationships, for happiness.

Very good book.