The Search to Belong

This book changed the way I look at small groups and the definition of spiritual growth. Our church is focused on working people down a path where they deepen their faith in God through attending more intimate community relationships, from public gatherings through community events and into personal small group relationships. [author: Joe Myers] has me thinking completely differently about that.

Joe describes the four levels of space people move through in different settings. He describes in detail and with examples each of the spaces (Public, Social, Personal and Intimate).

He comes up with a calculation where, for every 1 intimate friend you have, you'll have two personal friends, four social friends and 8 public friends. While this can't be a hard and true calculation, it helps define the number of people involved at different levels and shows that we shouldn't be trying to force people into personal friendships or intimate relationships with each-other, or even God.

The stories in between the descriptions are good and engaging. I did find it distracting to read the different quotes in the middle of text, sometimes breaking apart a thought that I'm trying to understand. It was especially distracting since these quotes are on about every other page in the book.

Overall this was a great book. Our youth leadership consultant also referenced this book in his youth leadership training for our church. If you have any responsibility in defining community or the path people take in their spiritual growth, it's a must-read.