What Kind of Mother

Possible trigger and content warnings for this story include: Death (both child and adult), Suicide, Body Horror, Bugs/Creepy Crawlies, Fish/Deepsea Creatures, Drowning

I love stories like this. Ones that have such rich underlying themes, allegories, symbolism, etc. That's my favorite kind of horror so this was a tasty read for me. I did about 20% reading and 80% audiobook. Megan Tusing's narrative style was perfect to keep my attention. Very fitting for this book, and well done with the child's voice lines!

This book's number one theme I feel is grief. The loss of a child as a parent. Our main character, Madi, is currently experiencing child loss differently than our second main character Henry. Henry lost his 8 month old son Skylar when he disappeared a little over five years ago. Madi on the other hand, has a 17-year-old daughter Kendra who is growing up and becoming an adult. She has taken interest in knowing her estranged father upon his sudden crisis of conscious. Kendra's father had abandoned both of them prior to Kendra's birth. Upon meeting her father, Kendra expresses interest in continuing to know him. This meant Madi needed to uproot and return back to her hometown where Kendra's father resides. This move results in Madi becoming homeless and jobless and so Kendra moves in with her father.

There is more than one way to lose a child. They can be living and breathing but begin to pull away from you, especially as they grow up. As I experienced Madi and Kendra's relationship, it is obvious how strained it has become (potentially, how it always has been but now Kendra sees an out, a better life) and how desperate Madi is to impress and keep Kendra interested in her. She feels hurt by the decision Kendra made. Abandoned. And I sense a guilt from Kendra with making her decision to move in with her father but knowing it is the better option for her to thrive.

I believe we also see explored the hardships of what it is like to be a parent, especially with a kid who might be tough to raise. What the parent gives up to raise that child. What they are will to sacrifice for their children. The post-partum depression, and the overall depression that can come with it. The feeling that you gave up your whole life for this creature. The way they might somehow look and feel like monsters, how your brain can skew under the stress and influence of mental illness.

Without getting spoiler-y, I felt this book did a wonderful job at showing what it can feel like to be a parent. I am not a mother, but this story made me think of mine.





—- SPOILERS BELOW —



I also understand Madi's choice at the end of the story. The desire to pick up, run, start over. To just let go, let the water rush into your lungs so to speak (or literally perhaps in Madi's case). Utterly and deliciously heartbreaking.