When We Were Strangers

DNF @ 12%

I originally planned to read this series on Kindle Unlimited, so when I saw there was a free prequel (this book) I ‘bought' it and dove in head first. Unfortunately, the water was shallow and there were sharp rocks at the bottom so now I'm laying drowned in a heap of broken bones. Don't save me; I want to stay here and contemplate existence for a while.

On a less joking note, I hated the narrative style. The tenses shifted in annoying and confusing ways, but I may have been willing to live with that if the narrative style weren't so obnoxious. I don't even know how to describe the style. It was first person POV, but written as if someone were blogging in a desperate plea for attention... while also being the sentient character of a video game, trying to alter reality around them by telling a false story. Trust me: it's every bit as ridiculous as that sounds. Here are a few of the most annoying examples:

Example One: Man, if only I could say it wasn???t every day I ended up locked out while wearing no clothes, but it occurred way more than I was comfortable with. Once. It happened once times. This time, in fact. And it was once more time than I ever wanted.

Example Two: Oh my god, don???t panic. RYAN, STAY CALM. DON???T PANIC. PLEASE SAVE ME BATMAN, SUPERMAN, OR RYAN REYNOLDS. HEY, HE STOLE MY NAME. No, he had it first since he was older than me.

Example Three: Ahem. Okay. As I wasn???t in the best headspace for narration, I would come back later. Hopefully when I was calmer and wearing pants.

Example Four: Not sure if this mattered, but in an effort to stall, I mean, tell the whole story, I made Dad lunch on the days when I had my classes.

Example Five: The door I exited locked behind me. I planned to try a different door??? OH MY GOD. PEOPLE WERE COMING OUTSIDE. And then I was hiding in a barn.

Example Six: Was I making panicked, wheezing noises? Yes. I sounded halfway hysterical, so I needed to stop that. Stop! I didn???t. Okay then.

“In case you don???t like this, this is the only female POV.”

hell fucking no.

shh it's okay, you can skip the icky female germs and they won't come back, don't worry, there's only one bitch here

just not writing that POV